Lady is un­sure about eti­quette of bring­ing plus-one to wed­ding

The China Post - - TV & COMICS -

DEAR AN­NIE: How much can I ask my host about eti­quette for her over­seas wed­ding?

I live in Canada. The bride is French. I met her when she was briefly living in my home­town. She went back to France two years ago, and now she’s get­ting mar­ried there. The wed­ding in­vi­ta­tion was sent to my name only, and there was not any kind of RSVP card that I’m ac­cus­tomed to see­ing. So I’m un­sure whether I am wel­come to bring a guest, since at­tend­ing would in­volve a rather lengthy jour­ney.

Would it be ac­cept­able to email the bride and ask her whether I can bring my boyfriend? I don’t want to put her on the spot, but I also don’t want to bring my date to a coun­try where he doesn’t speak the lan­guage and then stick him by him­self for the day, only to find out later that they had ex­pected me to bring him.

— Beau­coup Baf­fled

Dear Baf­fled: Did the in­vi­ta­tion ap­pear to be for­mal or in­for­mal? If in­for­mal, it is per­fectly OK to ask the bride whether you can bring a guest. If it is for­mal, how­ever, you’d have to be more cir­cum­spect. Email the bride and say that you would love to at­tend her wed­ding, but you aren’t cer­tain you are up to mak­ing such a long jour­ney by your­self. If she wants you to bring a guest, she will then tell you so. But if she doesn’t make such an of­fer, you can as­sume that her guest list is limited, sorry.

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