Late fa­ther’s in­tended gift to his son be­comes a co­nun­drum for mom

The China Post - - TV & COMICS -

DEAR AN­NIE: My hus­band died 11 years ago. Our son, “Mar­cus,” was six at the time. His dad was in in­ten­sive care for two months, and be­cause of his young age, our son was not al­lowed to see his fa­ther.

Be­fore he died, my hus­band asked his younger brother to keep his drum set un­til Mar­cus turned 18. Mar­cus’ un­cles used to call him ev­ery year on his birth­day, which also is his fa­ther’s birth­day. But since my hus­band died, nei­ther has called to wish their nephew a happy birth­day.

Mar­cus will be 18 soon. He is into mu­sic and wants the drums. I have asked his un­cle on sev­eral oc­ca­sions by send­ing a mes­sage on Face­book. I also asked my son’s half­brother ( from my hus­band’s first mar­riage) to get the drums, and Mar­cus would pick them up from his house. Noth­ing has hap­pened.

I re­cently no­ticed a pic­ture on Face­book of a guy who used to play in a band with my late hus­band. In the photo, he is play­ing drums that look sus­pi­ciously like the ones that be­long to my son.

Mar­cus has noth­ing of his fa­ther’s. He was not in­cluded in any de­ci­sions on what to sell or what to keep, or even asked what he’d like to have. He was also given his dad’s El Camino, but my hus­band put the ti­tle in the name of Mar­cus’ half- brother, who sold it. He didn’t even give my son any of the money from the sale. That was bad enough, but Mar­cus only re­ally cares about the drums.

The en­tire fam­ily knows that my late hus­band wanted Mar­cus to have the drums. What should I do? File a law­suit? How do I honor my late hus­band’s wishes and give my son this fi­nal gift from his dad? — Dis­traught Mom of a


Dear Mom: Is any­thing in writ­ing? If not, you might need to file a law­suit, but in or­der to prove your case, you prob­a­bly will need other cred­i­ble wit­nesses to tes­tify that your hus­band’s wish was for Mar­cus to have the drum set. An at­tor­ney will let you know if you have a case.

But a law­suit should be a last re­sort. Please stop ask­ing for per­sonal things on Face­book. Pick up the phone. Call the un­cle who sup­pos­edly has the drum set. Be nice. Tell him what a won­der­ful birth­day present it would be for Mar­cus to fi­nally have this me­mento from his fa­ther. Ask when would be con­ve­nient to pick it up and what you can do to fa­cil­i­tate the trans­fer.

Mar­cus also can call his un­cle. Th­ese re­la­tion­ships work both ways, and Mar­cus is old enough now to es­tab­lish his own con­tact. And if he is close to his half- brother or an­other pa­ter­nal rel­a­tive, per­haps you or Mar­cus could get the rel­a­tive to in­ter­cede on his be­half.

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