Concerned sister or an ulterior motive? Annie is suspicious
DEAR ANNIE: I believe my sister’s husband, “Roy,” is having an affair. He and I have been flirting for several years, and we’ve had several occasions where we could have been together, but because of my sister, we never have.
My sister’s marriage has been troubled for years. The two of them live together, but in separate rooms. They haven’t been intimate for ages.
My sister also has some health issues. Roy has said many times that the two of them should be able to see other people.
Recently, I saw Roy with some younger woman, and the way they were looking at each other, I knew they were more than friends. He has never looked at my sister that way.
We do a lot of things together as a family. During our most recent family weekend, Roy kept taking off alone. I believe Roy knows that I’m aware of his affair, even though he hasn’t said anything. I’m pretty sure my sister already knows and is hurting. She barely speaks to him and spends most of her time with her grandchildren. They both act as though nothing has happened.
Roy has cheated before. I don’t want my sister to be hurt again, but I also don’t want to make things awkward between the two of us. I think it’s time for my sister to let Roy go and move on. How do I handle this?
— Hurting, Too
Dear Hurting: We think you are overly involved in your sister’s marriage.
You have no proof of anything, only suspicions, and the fact that you have flirted with your brotherin- law in the past raises questions about your motives now.
Your sister may be choosing not to confront her husband’s behavior, and that is up to her. Please try to be emotionally supportive of whatever path she takes to deal with this. Be a shoulder to lean on when she needs one. You don’t have to do more.