Con­cerned sis­ter or an ul­te­rior mo­tive? An­nie is sus­pi­cious

The China Post - - TV & COMICS -

DEAR AN­NIE: I be­lieve my sis­ter’s hus­band, “Roy,” is hav­ing an af­fair. He and I have been flirt­ing for sev­eral years, and we’ve had sev­eral oc­ca­sions where we could have been to­gether, but be­cause of my sis­ter, we never have.

My sis­ter’s mar­riage has been trou­bled for years. The two of them live to­gether, but in sep­a­rate rooms. They haven’t been in­ti­mate for ages.

My sis­ter also has some health is­sues. Roy has said many times that the two of them should be able to see other peo­ple.

Re­cently, I saw Roy with some younger woman, and the way they were look­ing at each other, I knew they were more than friends. He has never looked at my sis­ter that way.

We do a lot of things to­gether as a fam­ily. Dur­ing our most re­cent fam­ily week­end, Roy kept tak­ing off alone. I be­lieve Roy knows that I’m aware of his af­fair, even though he hasn’t said any­thing. I’m pretty sure my sis­ter al­ready knows and is hurt­ing. She barely speaks to him and spends most of her time with her grand­chil­dren. They both act as though noth­ing has hap­pened.

Roy has cheated be­fore. I don’t want my sis­ter to be hurt again, but I also don’t want to make things awk­ward be­tween the two of us. I think it’s time for my sis­ter to let Roy go and move on. How do I han­dle this?

— Hurt­ing, Too

Dear Hurt­ing: We think you are overly in­volved in your sis­ter’s mar­riage.

You have no proof of any­thing, only sus­pi­cions, and the fact that you have flirted with your broth­erin- law in the past raises ques­tions about your mo­tives now.

Your sis­ter may be choos­ing not to con­front her hus­band’s be­hav­ior, and that is up to her. Please try to be emo­tion­ally sup­port­ive of what­ever path she takes to deal with this. Be a shoul­der to lean on when she needs one. You don’t have to do more.

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