Son’s world has been torn apart by ex-wife. Now she wants money

The China Post - - TV & COMICS -

DEAR AN­NIE: My son’s mar­riage broke up af­ter 10 years. Twice they at­tended coun­sel­ing be­cause his wife wanted to see other men. The third time, she was ac­tu­ally dat­ing an­other guy. He and “Mandy” share cus­tody of their three chil­dren.

Mandy had a trou­bled up­bring­ing. Her mother ne­glected her, and she ended up in state care. At 18, she lived with a cousin in ex­change for baby-sit­ting. This only worked un­til the cousin dis­cov­ered Mandy was sleep­ing with her hus­band.

Mandy has a col­lege de­gree, which she ob­tained while mar­ried to my son, but even while he paid al­imony, along with her rent and util­i­ties, she never made any ef­fort to find work. She then took the money she re­ceived from my son’s re­tire­ment ac­count and moved to an­other state to live near some guy she met on the In­ter­net, leav­ing the kids with their fa­ther. The chil­dren were dev­as­tated. My son now works 12-hour days while his cur­rent girl­friend (a saint) watches the chil­dren.

Mandy is now email­ing our rel­a­tives, claim­ing my son beat her and the girl­friend is beat­ing the chil­dren. She says she is broke and sui­ci­dal, has autism and PTSD and can­not live a de­cent life. If that’s true, how­ever, she would be el­i­gi­ble for dis­abil­ity benefits, but she re­fuses to ap­ply or seek coun­sel­ing.

Mandy drinks and smokes pot and ob­vi­ously has some men­tal health is­sues. She threat­ens to sue for sole cus­tody so my son will have to pay her child sup­port. She has alien­ated her en­tire fam­ily and most of her friends. She has no one other than the cur­rent boyfriend, who lives with his mother and has no job.

Should we send her money? How do we pro­tect our son?

— Wor­ried Mom

Dear Wor­ried: Your son needs to doc­u­ment ev­ery in­stance of Mandy’s er­ratic be­hav­ior and keep copies of her ha­rass­ing emails in case she fol­lows through with her threats. Do not send her money as a con­se­quence of her black­mail­ing ef­forts. It will only re­ward her neg­a­tive be­hav­ior and ramp up the de­mands. In­stead, if you choose to do so, you could of­fer to pay for ther­apy ses­sions (send­ing the money di­rectly to the ther­a­pist af­ter ver­i­fy­ing cre­den­tials). This would be for the ben­e­fit of your grand­chil­dren, who need their mother to be sta­ble and lov­ing.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Taiwan

© PressReader. All rights reserved.