Daddy’s bigotry will only serve to alienate the daughter he loves
DEAR ANNIE: My 14- yearold daughter attends an allgirls school. Her stepfather initially encouraged it, but in the past two years, my daughter has made friends with a few classmates who say they are lesbian or bisexual.
My husband is extremely conservative ( borderline homophobic), and as a result, he is shaming my daughter regularly for her friendships. I have a good bond with my daughter and feel torn. I know my husband cares about her, but his comments are hurtful. He says he will keep it up to make sure she doesn’t “become” a lesbian.
I’ve pleaded with him, tried to understand him and told him to stop, but it continues. What do I do?
— Is This Abuse?
Dear Abuse: Shaming your daughter is a form of abuse. Your husband sounds ignorant, homophobic and idiotic. Friendships with bisexual or homosexual girls will not make your daughter “become” a lesbian. But we guarantee that your husband’s bullying will push her toward rejecting everything he says, and his influence over her will diminish to nothing.
You need to stand up for your daughter more strongly. Insist that you and your husband get counseling immediately to work on this. If he refuses and will not curtail this behavior, we recommend you take your daughter and leave the house. Your husband needs to understand the consequences of his actions, and more importantly, your child should not be subjected to such emotional abuse. You are the only one who can protect her.