Daddy’s bigotry will only serve to alien­ate the daugh­ter he loves

The China Post - - TV & COMICS -

DEAR AN­NIE: My 14- yearold daugh­ter at­tends an all­girls school. Her step­fa­ther ini­tially en­cour­aged it, but in the past two years, my daugh­ter has made friends with a few class­mates who say they are les­bian or bi­sex­ual.

My hus­band is ex­tremely con­ser­va­tive ( borderline ho­mo­pho­bic), and as a re­sult, he is sham­ing my daugh­ter reg­u­larly for her friend­ships. I have a good bond with my daugh­ter and feel torn. I know my hus­band cares about her, but his com­ments are hurt­ful. He says he will keep it up to make sure she doesn’t “be­come” a les­bian.

I’ve pleaded with him, tried to un­der­stand him and told him to stop, but it con­tin­ues. What do I do?

— Is This Abuse?

Dear Abuse: Sham­ing your daugh­ter is a form of abuse. Your hus­band sounds ig­no­rant, ho­mo­pho­bic and id­i­otic. Friend­ships with bi­sex­ual or ho­mo­sex­ual girls will not make your daugh­ter “be­come” a les­bian. But we guar­an­tee that your hus­band’s bul­ly­ing will push her to­ward re­ject­ing ev­ery­thing he says, and his in­flu­ence over her will di­min­ish to noth­ing.

You need to stand up for your daugh­ter more strongly. In­sist that you and your hus­band get coun­sel­ing im­me­di­ately to work on this. If he re­fuses and will not cur­tail this be­hav­ior, we rec­om­mend you take your daugh­ter and leave the house. Your hus­band needs to un­der­stand the con­se­quences of his ac­tions, and more im­por­tantly, your child should not be sub­jected to such emo­tional abuse. You are the only one who can pro­tect her.

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