Mother concerned her daughter is caught up in abusive relationship
DEAR ANNIE: My daughter, “Chloe,” who is not quite 18, dated “Ted” for two years. Things started out fine. Even though neither her father nor I approved of the relationship, we never told Chloe. After two years, she admitted to me that Ted was emotionally abusive, calling her names, pointing out every flaw she had. She was never good enough. If she was happy, she was too happy. If she was sad, she was told not to cry. Chloe had a couple of panic attacks and lost more than 20 pounds. Meanwhile, almost everyone who knew Ted suspected he was gay but unwilling to admit it.
Near the end of the relationship, Chloe told me that Ted had been pinching her and lightly slapping her face. A friend who had been in an abusive relationship warned Chloe that these are the signs of an abuser “testing the waters to see what he can get away with.” I was beside myself with worry. I tried to get Chloe to talk to a therapist, but she refused.
Six weeks ago, Chloe finally decided to break things off. But last week, she told me she made a mistake and wants to take him back. I told her Ted is not welcome in our home because of how he has treated her. I cannot condone this relationship, and now Chloe lies to us in order to see him. Am I wrong to keep this man out of our house?
— Beside Myself