Mother con­cerned her daugh­ter is caught up in abu­sive re­la­tion­ship

The China Post - - TV & COMICS -

DEAR AN­NIE: My daugh­ter, “Chloe,” who is not quite 18, dated “Ted” for two years. Things started out fine. Even though nei­ther her fa­ther nor I ap­proved of the re­la­tion­ship, we never told Chloe. Af­ter two years, she ad­mit­ted to me that Ted was emo­tion­ally abu­sive, call­ing her names, point­ing out ev­ery flaw she had. She was never good enough. If she was happy, she was too happy. If she was sad, she was told not to cry. Chloe had a cou­ple of panic at­tacks and lost more than 20 pounds. Mean­while, al­most ev­ery­one who knew Ted sus­pected he was gay but un­will­ing to ad­mit it.

Near the end of the re­la­tion­ship, Chloe told me that Ted had been pinch­ing her and lightly slap­ping her face. A friend who had been in an abu­sive re­la­tion­ship warned Chloe that th­ese are the signs of an abuser “testing the wa­ters to see what he can get away with.” I was be­side my­self with worry. I tried to get Chloe to talk to a ther­a­pist, but she re­fused.

Six weeks ago, Chloe fi­nally de­cided to break things off. But last week, she told me she made a mis­take and wants to take him back. I told her Ted is not wel­come in our home be­cause of how he has treated her. I can­not con­done this re­la­tion­ship, and now Chloe lies to us in or­der to see him. Am I wrong to keep this man out of our house?

— Be­side My­self

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