Maid of honor or of dis­honor? Lady feels bride was un­grate­ful

The China Post - - TV & COMICS -

DEAR AN­NIE: A good friend of mine was re­cently mar­ried, and I was her maid of honor and happy to do it. The bride had only one other woman in her bridal party, a high school class­mate who now lives half­way across the U.S. That meant all of the bridal party du­ties be­came my re­spon­si­bil­ity.

I thought­fully planned, bud­geted for and hosted both the bridal shower and the bachelorette party. I slaved over my wed­ding re­cep­tion speech and mus­tered up my courage to de­liver it. I wanted ev­ery­thing to be mem­o­rable and joy­ous, and I es­pe­cially wanted the bride to know that this was her time to shine.

So you can imag­ine my dis­may when the bride and groom ne­glected to men­tion any mem­ber of the bridal party when thank­ing spe­cial peo­ple in their speech. The bride ad­mit­ted that they wrote their speech on a whim, and although she later ac­knowl­edged that she had forgotten to thank her brides­maids, I am still re­sent­ful weeks later for her lack of ap­pre­ci­a­tion for my ef­forts.

The groom was thought­ful enough to take to so­cial me­dia in the days fol­low­ing the wed­ding to thank his grooms­men “for ev­ery­thing.” I imag­ine if the bride had fol­lowed in her new hus­band’s foot­steps, I’d have been so grate­ful. Am I wrong to feel this way?

— Maid of Dis­honor

Dear Maid: There is no “right” or “wrong” way to feel. The bride dis­played a lack of con­sid­er­a­tion by not pre­par­ing enough of a speech to be sure the ap­pro­pri­ate peo­ple were thanked. More im­por­tantly, she should have been apolo­getic enough to make up for it af­ter­ward.

Those, like you, who put a great deal of time and en­ergy (not to men­tion money) into some­one else’s big event de­serve to be ac­knowl­edged and thanked. It sucks the joy out of the party when you feel your ef­forts were not no­ticed or ap­pre­ci­ated, and it makes the bride seem self-ab­sorbed and un­grate­ful. It may be her “big day,” but other peo­ple helped to make it pos­si­ble, and there is no ex­cuse for treat­ing them poorly. We hope she fig­ures it out be­fore she has no friends left.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Taiwan

© PressReader. All rights reserved.