Maid of honor or of dishonor? Lady feels bride was ungrateful
DEAR ANNIE: A good friend of mine was recently married, and I was her maid of honor and happy to do it. The bride had only one other woman in her bridal party, a high school classmate who now lives halfway across the U.S. That meant all of the bridal party duties became my responsibility.
I thoughtfully planned, budgeted for and hosted both the bridal shower and the bachelorette party. I slaved over my wedding reception speech and mustered up my courage to deliver it. I wanted everything to be memorable and joyous, and I especially wanted the bride to know that this was her time to shine.
So you can imagine my dismay when the bride and groom neglected to mention any member of the bridal party when thanking special people in their speech. The bride admitted that they wrote their speech on a whim, and although she later acknowledged that she had forgotten to thank her bridesmaids, I am still resentful weeks later for her lack of appreciation for my efforts.
The groom was thoughtful enough to take to social media in the days following the wedding to thank his groomsmen “for everything.” I imagine if the bride had followed in her new husband’s footsteps, I’d have been so grateful. Am I wrong to feel this way?
— Maid of Dishonor
Dear Maid: There is no “right” or “wrong” way to feel. The bride displayed a lack of consideration by not preparing enough of a speech to be sure the appropriate people were thanked. More importantly, she should have been apologetic enough to make up for it afterward.
Those, like you, who put a great deal of time and energy (not to mention money) into someone else’s big event deserve to be acknowledged and thanked. It sucks the joy out of the party when you feel your efforts were not noticed or appreciated, and it makes the bride seem self-absorbed and ungrateful. It may be her “big day,” but other people helped to make it possible, and there is no excuse for treating them poorly. We hope she figures it out before she has no friends left.