Daugh­ter has some prac­ti­cal ad­vice for self-ab­sorbed mom

The China Post - - TV & COMICS -

AN­NIE: My 85-year-old mother seems to be a lov­ing, gen­er­ous per­son. But I know her to be ex­tremely self-cen­tered. For ex­am­ple, I don’t dare men­tion that I might be sick or have a prob­lem, be­cause she will re­ply with a long list of her own com­plaints. Ev­ery­thing she says, ev­ery story she tells, is turned around to make her look won­der­ful and im­por­tant.

We re­cently had a fam­ily gath­er­ing, and I made a toast to my sis­ters-in-law and our chil­dren be­cause they all had made im­por­tant ad­vance­ments in their ca­reers and ed­u­ca­tion. Be­fore the toast was over, my mom piped up and said, “What about me?” and pro­ceeded to ram­ble on about her­self.

I am writ­ing not to get ad­vice, but rather to give it. I don’t care how old you are; don’t hog the spot­light. Lis­ten to your chil­dren and grand­chil­dren and be in­ter­ested in their lives. Be­cause of my mother’s nar­cis­sism, I have learned to be hum­ble. Be­cause of my mother’s self-cen­tered at­ti­tude, I have learned to be sen­si­tive to oth­ers. Be­cause of my mother’s con­stant com­plain­ing, I have learned not to talk about my own aches and pains. I am sure that when she is gone, I will miss her. But the best thing she ever did for me was to teach me to be a bet­ter mother and grand­mother by set­ting such a bad ex­am­ple.

— The Good Daugh­ter

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