Squab­bling sib­lings send mom into spin, what is the so­lu­tion?

The China Post - - TV & COMICS -

DEAR AN­NIE: I have two sons, both mar­ried with chil­dren, liv­ing in two dif­fer­ent states. For sev­eral years, my older son “John” has re­fused to talk to his brother, “Teddy.” I don’t know why, ex­cept that John’s wife ini­ti­ated it.

My hus­band and my sons and their fam­i­lies were at a wed­ding a few years ago. John’s wife re­fused to ac­knowl­edge Teddy’s fam­ily. She stayed for all of the wed­ding fes­tiv­i­ties, but walked away when­ever Teddy, his wife or chil­dren came near.

Since then, John and his fam­ily have vis­ited cousins who live near his brother, but they have not once con­tacted him. My hus­band and I are stressed over the sit­u­a­tion, but don’t know what to do about it. Any sug­ges­tions?

— Cor­nered

Dear Cor­nered: Can you speak to your sons and find out what this is all about? Was there an ar­gu­ment be­tween the wives? Did Teddy say or do some­thing that John’s wife found in­sult­ing or un­for­giv­able? Or vice versa?

Los­ing a sib­ling over some­thing that might be reme­died is ter­ri­bly sad. But if you are will­ing, you are in a po­si­tion to bro­ker a truce. Per­haps one of your sons (or their wives) would be will­ing to dis­cuss it with you and find a way to re­solve it. Of­ten these dis­agree­ments turn into long­time feuds be­cause no one is will­ing to take the first step with­out en­cour­age­ment and help from a third party. If you don’t feel ca­pa­ble of me­di­at­ing, con­sider ask­ing another rel­a­tive or a close friend to step in.

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