Grandma is an­noyed by what she thinks is ir­re­spon­si­ble con­duct

The China Post - - TV & COMICS -

DEAR AN­NIE: My son and daugh­ter- in- law have two beau­ti­ful chil­dren, ages six and seven. Since my re­tire­ment, I’ve taken care of the chil­dren while the par­ents work. I also gave them a large sum of money for the down pay­ment on their home in an area with good schools.

Over the past cou­ple of years, I have no­ticed that they spend money ex­trav­a­gantly and have failed to keep up with the main­te­nance of their house. Last month, they in­formed me that they may need to sell the place, be­cause they find it dif­fi­cult to keep up with ex­penses, even though I know their in­come is per­fectly ad­e­quate to cover all of their house­hold costs.

I have a real es­tate back­ground and ex­plained to them that the mar­ket has de­clined, mak­ing the value of the house less than what they owe on it. I be­came quite im­pa­tient and al­most an­gry, sug­gest­ing that they seek fi­nan­cial guid­ance to get back on track. In ad­di­tion, I am emo­tion­ally and phys­i­cally drained when car­ing for the chil­dren, as they do not keep the house clean and piles of dirty cloth­ing can be found all over. At times, I have done the wash and cleaned the house, sim­ply so I can tol­er­ate be­ing there. I am con­cerned about my grand­chil­dren in that en­vi­ron­ment.

I have spo­ken to my son and he says he won’t con­front his wife on these is­sues be­cause he wants to choose his bat­tles. My daugh­ter- in- law does not seem to mind liv­ing in a dirty, dis­or­ga­nized en­vi­ron­ment. I feel she is neg­li­gent and not pro­vid­ing the proper care and nur­tur­ing for my grand­chil­dren. She only works part- time and could do these things.

Should I bring the kids to my house in­stead? I am try­ing to be pos­i­tive, but it is be­com­ing dif­fi­cult to main­tain a re­la­tion­ship with her.

— Need Clean­li­ness

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