Wed­ding guest isn’t sure if she’s al­lowed to bring her plus-one

The China Post - - TV & COMICS -

DEAR AN­NIE: My cousin is get­ting mar­ried soon and another cousin’s girl­friend was in­vited. They have been dat­ing for years, and I re­ally like her. The prob­lem is, my boyfriend was not in­vited, even though we, too, have been dat­ing for years. A lot of that was long dis­tance, so many of my fam­ily mem­bers have not yet met him.

When I re­ceived my wed­ding in­vi­ta­tion, it was ad­dressed only to me. I was won­der­ing whether it would be rude to ask my cousin whether I could bring my boyfriend. I don’t want to cre­ate any prob­lems, but this would be the first fam­ily event that my boyfriend could at­tend and I’d like ev­ery­one to meet him.

If he can­not at­tend, I will still go and make sure my cousin’s spe­cial day is per­fect. — Don’t Want to Cause

Ten­sion

Dear Don’t: We com­mend you for be­ing un­der­stand­ing. It is gen­er­ally ex­pected that both par­ties of an es­tab­lished cou­ple are in­vited, but we dou­ble-checked with Lizzie Post of the Emily Post In­sti­tute, who said it is not proper for you to ask. Your cousin ap­par­ently didn’t know that your re­la­tion­ship was steady and on­go­ing and the cou­ple may not have felt ob­li­gated to in­clude some­one they didn’t know. They also may not have room.

We think it would be a good idea if you found a way to in­tro­duce your boyfriend to your cousin be­fore the wed­ding. Per­haps the two of you could take the bridal cou­ple out to din­ner to celebrate. You might also con­sider hav­ing a small party to in­tro­duce him to your rel­a­tives so they have an op­por­tu­nity to get to know him.

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