Wife is jeal­ous af­ter see­ing her hus­band hit on another lady

The China Post - - TV & COMICS -

DEAR AN­NIE: My hus­band and I are in our 60s. Re­cently, he hugged a new neigh­bor and kissed her on the cheek. She is our age and di­vorced. We don’t know her well at all. I was shocked, em­bar­rassed and an­gry.

I com­mented later, ask­ing my hus­band if he hugged and kissed any of the other women (all mar­ried) in our group of friends. He thinks I’m be­ing ridicu­lous. But he has done sim­i­lar things times in the past when­ever there’s a new fe­male around. It’s like he can’t help it. He be­comes com­pletely ob­sessed with the “new girl.”

We’ve been mar­ried a long time. I told him he should al­ways act like a mar­ried man and that his flir­ta­tious be­hav­ior makes me feel ter­ri­ble and I don’t want to ex­pe­ri­ence it any­more. I’m in shape and at­trac­tive. I’ve thought about do­ing some­thing to make my hus­band jeal­ous to see how he re­acts. Right now, I’m fed up and con­sid­er­ing a di­vorce so I can en­joy the rest of my life. What’s the deal?

— Fed Up in Mu­sic City

Dear Fed Up: It sounds like your hus­band is feel­ing his age and finds that some­thing “new” makes him feel young and frisky again. This is only threat­en­ing to your mar­riage if he acts on these im­pulses with more than hugs and cheek kisses, and the woman re­acts with equal in­ter­est. The next step is en­tirely up to you.

You can­not force your hus­band to change un­less he rec­og­nizes the need and is will­ing. So, know­ing that these flir­ta­tions go no fur­ther, can you tol­er­ate them? Is this the only sore spot in your mar­riage? Do the pros out­weigh the cons? Would you be will­ing to get coun­sel­ing (with or with­out him) to work on the is­sue? Do you re­ally want to leave him over this? Of­ten, the de­ci­sions we make when we are an­gry or frus­trated turn out to be re­gret­ted. Please give the sit­u­a­tion a great deal of thought be­fore you act, and con­sider your op­tions care­fully.

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