Will daughter’s big day be damaged by sister-in-law’s plan?
DEAR ANNIE: My daughter has been engaged for several months. Her invitations for the small, family-only wedding were handwritten and mailed six weeks before the event.
The wedding is in two weeks. Yesterday, my sisterin-law announced that she is giving my brother a surprise party on my daughter’s wedding day, three hours after the ceremony begins. It’s two weeks before his actual birthday. And it’s not as though she planned it because we’d have a ton of relatives in town for the wedding. There are only two family members who don’t live nearby, and they are only a couple of hours away. She could have scheduled this birthday party at any time.
This is the tackiest thing I’ve ever heard of. I don’t even know how to pretend it’s OK. I am just speechless. Your thoughts?
— Bride’s Mother
Dear Bride’s Mother: We completely agree that your sister-in-law has done something both tacky and with underlying hostility. You don’t have to pretend this is OK. It is not.
Would your husband speak to his sister-in-law about the party and ask that it be rescheduled? Is there any other person who can intercede and convince your sister-inlaw that this reflects poorly on her? You also can tell her how unhappy and shocked you are by her decision to plan this party in a way that deliberately takes attention away from your daughter’s big day. Especially when she didn’t check with you first.
If she refuses to change her plans, we recommend you ignore what you can, and accept that your sister-in-law lacks class. Do your best to minimize your disappointment and any damage to your daughter and her groom. Put on a good face and make the best of the day. Please don’t let anyone ruin it.