Will daugh­ter’s big day be dam­aged by sis­ter-in-law’s plan?

The China Post - - TV & COMICS -

DEAR AN­NIE: My daugh­ter has been en­gaged for sev­eral months. Her in­vi­ta­tions for the small, fam­ily-only wed­ding were hand­writ­ten and mailed six weeks be­fore the event.

The wed­ding is in two weeks. Yesterday, my sis­terin-law an­nounced that she is giv­ing my brother a sur­prise party on my daugh­ter’s wed­ding day, three hours af­ter the cer­e­mony be­gins. It’s two weeks be­fore his ac­tual birth­day. And it’s not as though she planned it be­cause we’d have a ton of rel­a­tives in town for the wed­ding. There are only two fam­ily mem­bers who don’t live nearby, and they are only a cou­ple of hours away. She could have sched­uled this birth­day party at any time.

This is the tack­i­est thing I’ve ever heard of. I don’t even know how to pre­tend it’s OK. I am just speech­less. Your thoughts?

— Bride’s Mother

Dear Bride’s Mother: We com­pletely agree that your sis­ter-in-law has done some­thing both tacky and with un­der­ly­ing hos­til­ity. You don’t have to pre­tend this is OK. It is not.

Would your hus­band speak to his sis­ter-in-law about the party and ask that it be resched­uled? Is there any other per­son who can in­ter­cede and con­vince your sis­ter-in­law that this re­flects poorly on her? You also can tell her how un­happy and shocked you are by her de­ci­sion to plan this party in a way that de­lib­er­ately takes at­ten­tion away from your daugh­ter’s big day. Es­pe­cially when she didn’t check with you first.

If she re­fuses to change her plans, we rec­om­mend you ig­nore what you can, and ac­cept that your sis­ter-in-law lacks class. Do your best to min­i­mize your dis­ap­point­ment and any dam­age to your daugh­ter and her groom. Put on a good face and make the best of the day. Please don’t let any­one ruin it.

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