Hav­ing to deal with two moth­ers-in-law isn’t al­ways glee­ful

The China Post - - TV & COMICS -

DEAR AN­NIE: I am a 29-year-old mar­ried woman with a 14-month-old son. My hus­band and I live one hour away from his fa­ther and step­mother, “Gla­dys,” and two hours away from my par­ents. We all get along great.

When I de­cided to go back to work, both my mother and Gla­dys vol­un­teered to watch my son two days apiece. I pay a neigh­bor to watch him the re­main­ing day, es­pe­cially since she has two kids of her own and I want my son to have some so­cial­iza­tion. It’s a per­fect setup, and ev­ery­one is happy ex­cept for my hus­band’s mother, who lives in another state. She is fu­ri­ous that I al­low Gla­dys to watch my son, stat­ing that she is “not re­lated” and “not re­ally his grandma” and that “she will never love him like a real grandma should.”

My mother-in-law wants me to have the neigh­bor watch my son for the two days Gla­dys is now tak­ing, and she even of­fered to pay my neigh­bor so it would not come out of my pocket.

My hus­band has a close re­la­tion­ship with his mother and a po­lite one with Gla­dys. (His mother never al­lowed him to get close to his step­mother, even though she didn’t come into the pic­ture un­til years af­ter the di­vorce.) He’s on the fence about this ar­range­ment. But, An­nie, I love Gla­dys. She is a re­tired kinder­garten teacher who is won­der­ful with my son.

My MIL is giv­ing me a headache over this. I al­ways thought we had a good re­la­tion­ship and her de­mands re­ally blind­sided me. Now she’s an­gry that I have al­lowed Gla­dys to have a re­la­tion­ship with our son al­to­gether. I haven’t men­tioned any of this to Gla­dys, but I’m sure she’d be heart­bro­ken. She truly loves our son and he loves her. What should I do? — Caught Be­tween Two MILs

Dear Caught: Shame on your mother-in-law for be­ing so jeal­ous and bit­ter that she would in­ter­fere in your chil­drea­r­ing de­ci­sions and pre­vent your son from hav­ing a lov­ing re­la­tion­ship with Gla­dys. We hope your hus­band has the gump­tion to tell his mother that these are not her de­ci­sions to make, and that if she can­not ac­cept your child’s re­la­tion­ship with Gla­dys, she could ben­e­fit from coun­sel­ing. Enough al­ready.

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