Woman wants her sis­ter to be treated bet­ter by her fam­ily

The China Post - - TV & COMICS -

DEAR AN­NIE: My heart is break­ing for my sis­ter. She has been mar­ried to the same man for more than 30 years and he has never been kind or re­spect­ful to­ward her. They have two mar­ried sons and a grand­child with health prob­lems. My sis­ter loves that grand­child more than life it­self, but she rarely gets to see him. Worse, her sons treat her ter­ri­bly and I have no idea why. The younger son takes ad­van­tage of her, and the old­est acts as though his par­ents are be­neath him.

I have sev­eral sib­lings and although none of us is per­fect, we have all tried our best to be good par­ents. My sis­ter has re­cently de­vel­oped med­i­cal prob­lems, but she is so de­pressed about her life that she doesn’t care about her own health.

I am wor­ried about her. She de­serves love and re­spect and has sac­ri­ficed her­self for the men in her life. Should I write a let­ter to my neph­ews and open their eyes?

— Big Sis­ter

Dear Sis­ter: If your brother-in-law has treated his wife dis­re­spect­fully their en­tire mar­ried life and she has tol­er­ated it, then her sons will treat her sim­i­larly. That is the pat­tern they grew up with and they see noth­ing wrong with it. Your sis­ter needs to as­sert her­self and de­mand more ac­cept­able be­hav­ior, but we sus­pect she doesn’t know how.

If you want to write letters to your neph­ews, by all means do so, but be aware that it might not help and could es­trange them from you. Can you en­list the help of your nephew’s wives? Men who treat their moth­ers dis­re­spect­fully of­ten re­peat the pat­tern with their wives. We also hope you will of­fer to go with your sis­ter for coun­sel­ing, not only so she can learn to stop putting up with such dis­re­spect, but to help her move for­ward and take con­trol of her life and her health.

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