THE WEEK AHEAD
MONDAY
The UN’s International Civil Aviation Organisation just can’t seem to do safety regulation properly and has red-flagged the country as equal to Eritrea and Haiti. The European Union says Thailand is cracker-jack at safety and all airlines are welcome. The US Federal Aviation Administration gets the deciding vote, and begins a week-long audit of the Department of Civil Aviation today. Zambia doesn’t even have a king, but it has its own kind of lese majeste. Musician Chama Fumba, stage name Pilato, performed a song about President Edgar Lungu drinking too much. Thais are familiar with that happens next, including a possible six months in prison. Greece will (not) pay back €453 million it owes to the IMF. And that action will have consequences. Calling all fat people: Skinny Oreos go on sale today in the US, and are headed here. They look like regular Oreos, but slimmer.
TUESDAY
Facebook naysayers said Liverpool were sending a crew of benchwarmers to play in Thailand tonight, but they’re not. The full team including newcomers Milner and Ings will play the True All Stars team at Rajamangala National Stadium at 8pm. Tickets, if any are still available, are at 7-Eleven and AllticketThailand.com. The flag will be hoisted to officially start Kumbha Mela, which will draw 100 million people to bathe in the Ganges for 55 days — billed by organisers of the Hindu pilgrimage as “the largest peaceful gathering on Earth”. Remember when Iraq executed Saddam Hussein? That was in 2006, and ever since then the Nasa spacecraft New Horizons has been heading for the solar system’s outer reaches. Today it will pass Pluto, which was a planet when the mission started. It takes nine hours for a message for each one-way communication to cross the 15 billion kilometres between Earth and craft.
WEDNESDAY
The State Railway of Thailand is due to drop off a revised report on just where the Chinese should lay the tracks for the spiffy high-speed railway between Bangkok and Chiang Mai. The Chinese needed some changes to the original proposal, and they demand speedy expropriation of land. The report goes to the Transport Ministry and then, by today, to the National Environment Board to point out the damage that construction will cause. If it does its job. The National Legislative Assembly will get on with the business of a trial and testimony before impeaching pretty well every former MP of the Pheu Thai Party. The National Anti-Corruption Commission is charging them with actually trying to amend the precious 2007 constitution. The aim is to keep them out of politics for five years or forever, whichever is longer.
THURSDAY
Ramadan ends today or tomorrow, depending on the sighting of the new moon. The monthlong fasting month concludes with a feast, Eid al-Fitr, commonly known in Thailand as Eidal Fittaly or, in the deep South, Hari Raya Puasa. The Open starts this early evening at golf’s temple, St Andrews. Kiradech Aphibarnrat will join Thongchai Jaidee at the four-day major tournament.
FRIDAY
The Republic of Apple has announced it will accept baht in trade for an Apple Watch, starting today. Prices … hey! it’s Apple … will run between 13,500 baht for el-cheapo and 470,000 baht for a bit of bling. Caveat emptor, because Apple Watch 2 will be out soon. It is Davis Cup weekend, with eight teams left in the competition. Matches include Australia-Kazakhstan, Canada-Belgium, Argentina-Serbia and grudge match Great Britain-France. You can’t actually one-up Apple, but Toyota will introduce its “all new” 2016 Fortuner in Thailand this afternoon — invitation-only to make it look hi-so.
SATURDAY
As everyone knows the always very interesting National Broadcasting and Telecommunications Commission is hosting a public hearing to confirm its strange and wonderful details for the 4G spectrum auction. You knew that, right? Like an experiment run wild, the fusion band Boy Thai will perform at Central-World Ratchadamri at 3pm. Think Herbie Hancock played on the ranat ek (Thai xylophone) and you’ll understand. But you can’t actually imagine that, right? Go, watch and listen. Runners are gathering in the resort today for tomorrow morning’s Pattaya International Marathon, with entries from around the world. Also tomorrow, Myanmar will celebrate its 68th Martyrs’ Day anniversary, marking the assassination of independence heroes including Aung San Suu Kyi’s father, who helped end British rule.