take 10 people who get parking spot-on
1 The stalker: They cruise ever so slowly, following a family as they walk back to their car. The car park is a jungle and these guys are the lions, stalking their prey.
2 The ninja: You’ve toiled away in the car park, eyes burning from squinting as you stalk oblivious families. It’s not a mirage, there actually is a spot, and just as you’re about to pull in, with a little whip of their steering wheel the ninja parker is in your spot.
3 The long-distance car parker: “Hey is there parking there? Yeah? Save me a spot.” He grabs his keys and leaves home.
4 The lucky guy: This is the man we love to hate. You step out of your car, having fought what can only be described as a war, dripping sweat and ego sufficiently bruised. Then lo and behold, he pulls up and gift-wrapped in your blood, sweat and tears is a parking spot.
5 The indifferent parker: He’s the kind who sets limits for himself, anything more than 10 parking spaces away from his destination is forbidden land. And the rule never changes.
6 The daredevil double parker: His super powers range from double parking in front of a parked car to nonchalantly leaving his hazard lights on as he watches a three-hour movie.
7 The game changer: He is at the end of his rapidly fraying rope, desperately calling his friends to change plans. “Why do we need to watch a movie? Let’s just go home, there’s plenty of parking there.”
8 The early bird: This one is a stickler for being on time so it only makes sense that he gets to his destination a minimum of two hours early. It seems a smart idea, but not for those who have better things to do.
9 The wily one: This eagle-eyed parker can spot a headlight flash on, a door unlock and the engine start – all enough reason for him to swoop in. In the blink of an eye, the space is his.
10 The stubborn one: He is adamant about circling the block no matter how long or how much petrol is used. Unfortunately, there are some things that just don’t change, like facts. As Ronald Reagan once said, quoting John Adams, “Facts are stubborn things” and you won’t find parking in Meena Bazaar. As told to Bharath Rameshan, an intern with Friday
Ali Anees, Honours Business
Administration, student, University of Western Ontario,
Class of 2014