It’s hardly the stuff of romance. I mean, when the love of your life leans forward to whisper sweet nothings in your ear you’re not expecting him to say: ‘What colour shall we paint the house when we’re married, dear?’ are you?
We want to hear, see and be overwhelmed with declarations of love. We want to know we’re the centre of our partner’s life, the way they are ours. We want hearts, and flowers and – if we’re lucky – diamonds too. We want to be one of those couples who just know from the moment they meet that they’re meant to be together.
But these, according to very practical experts, aren’t the essential ingredients to ensure we live happily ever after. Forget romance, they say, and make sure we’re not just truly, madly, deeply in love, but compatible too. It doesn’t sound as exciting, but sharing the same values and aspirations really is what make marriages work. That’s why, as our fascinating feature on page 34 suggests, you need to have The Talk before walking down the aisle.
There’s no point rushing to say I do if you want three children and a house in Arabian Ranches and he never wants babies and hankers after a Ferrari and a penthouse Downtown. You should both want the same things or be prepared and happy to – wait for it – compromise. That’s the most unromantic word I’ve ever heard, but when it comes to the nitty-gritty of everyday married life, that’s what keeps most couples together. So, it’s easier if you check that you both long for the same things and discuss your careers, home, family, money and values long before you work out the table plan for the big day.
I think I had the talk on our third date as I was so sure my husband was the one by then – and I was right as we celebrate 19 years together next month. Enjoy our bridal issue, and let me know what you think! Until next week, Karen Pasquali Jones Editor email@example.com
There’s no point RUSHING to say I DO if you want three KIDS and a house in Arabian Ranches and he NEVER wants babies and HANKERS after a FERRARI and a penthouse Downtown. Or, prepare to COMPROMISE