Friday - - Editor’s Letter -

It’s hardly the stuff of ro­mance. I mean, when the love of your life leans for­ward to whis­per sweet noth­ings in your ear you’re not ex­pect­ing him to say: ‘What colour shall we paint the house when we’re mar­ried, dear?’ are you?

We want to hear, see and be over­whelmed with dec­la­ra­tions of love. We want to know we’re the cen­tre of our part­ner’s life, the way they are ours. We want hearts, and flow­ers and – if we’re lucky – di­a­monds too. We want to be one of those cou­ples who just know from the mo­ment they meet that they’re meant to be to­gether.

But these, ac­cord­ing to very prac­ti­cal ex­perts, aren’t the es­sen­tial in­gre­di­ents to en­sure we live hap­pily ever af­ter. For­get ro­mance, they say, and make sure we’re not just truly, madly, deeply in love, but com­pat­i­ble too. It doesn’t sound as ex­cit­ing, but shar­ing the same val­ues and as­pi­ra­tions re­ally is what make mar­riages work. That’s why, as our fas­ci­nat­ing fea­ture on page 34 sug­gests, you need to have The Talk be­fore walk­ing down the aisle.

There’s no point rush­ing to say I do if you want three chil­dren and a house in Ara­bian Ranches and he never wants ba­bies and han­kers af­ter a Fer­rari and a pent­house Down­town. You should both want the same things or be pre­pared and happy to – wait for it – com­pro­mise. That’s the most un­ro­man­tic word I’ve ever heard, but when it comes to the nitty-gritty of ev­ery­day mar­ried life, that’s what keeps most cou­ples to­gether. So, it’s eas­ier if you check that you both long for the same things and dis­cuss your ca­reers, home, fam­ily, money and val­ues long be­fore you work out the ta­ble plan for the big day.

I think I had the talk on our third date as I was so sure my hus­band was the one by then – and I was right as we cel­e­brate 19 years to­gether next month. En­joy our bridal is­sue, and let me know what you think! Un­til next week, Karen Pasquali Jones Edi­tor kpasqual­i­

There’s no point RUSH­ING to say I DO if you want three KIDS and a house in Ara­bian Ranches and he NEVER wants ba­bies and HAN­KERS af­ter a FER­RARI and a pent­house Down­town. Or, pre­pare to COM­PRO­MISE

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