READ UP ON LAZINESS
Suresh Menon is a writer based in India. In his youth he set out to change the world but later decided to leave it as it is
If you are a bookworm you will live longer, according to the Journal Social Science and Medicine. If you are lazy, then it is a sign of intelligence, according to the Journal of Health Psychology. No connection there, except in one case that I know: myself.
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to be surprised. I am a bookworm, and I am lazy, a combination that makes me intelligent and ensures that I live long. A dangerously approaching car making straight for me can be brought to a standstill if I hold up my hand and say, “Hey, I am a bookworm, and its too early to die.” Not much sign of intelligence there, but perhaps I could use my super gifts separately. After all, do we know if Superman can fly and catch bullets in his teeth at the same time?
There is an urban myth – propagated no doubt by people wanting to sell superhero comics or get us to watch superhero movies – that each of us is gifted in some way. Thus, there are people who can go from point A to point B without getting lost on the way (I am not among them), or can recite the alphabet of six different languages backwards. Some sing, some dance, others comment on those who sing and dance. No research has been done on this, but my guess is, granted a bunch of wishes by a friendly genie, a long life and intelligence must figure near the top. Every intelligent man’s secret desire is to live to be 100. Every lazy person’s secret desire is to be considered intelligent. That, in a sense is the circle of life, whatever Elton John might think.
And, like the quality of mercy, I have been twice blessed. Thanks in the main – and this is crucial, so follow me closely – to my own efforts. I may have been born lazy, but I also cultivated laziness, worked hard at it (to the extent my laziness would allow), and now it has all been worthwhile. Also, I began reading at a tender age and
Every intelligent man’s DESIRE is to live to be 100. Every LAZY person’s desire is to be considered INTELLIGENT . That, in a sense, is the CIRCLE of LIFE, whatever ELTON JOHN thinks
never stopped, sometimes reading more books in a week than there are letters in the English and Hindi alphabet combined.
The wonderful connection between my two gifts – lying about lazily while reading – means that I might, at the age of 70 learn to drive. After all it was at that age that Tolstoy learnt to use his bicycle. So far I am one up on Tolstoy, for I can already ride a bicycle.
Too lazy to save the world, I am happy to read about others doing it, thus reading my way into immortality. I may not be in the next superhero movie, but I might outlast the lot.