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Friday - - Beauty -

HELP, MY DAD WANTS US TO RE­LO­CATE!

Q I’m 14 and I’ve been very happy grow­ing up and liv­ing in Dubai. Last week my fa­ther told us his com­pany is trans­fer­ring him to the US, and our fam­ily is go­ing to move there. It’s go­ing to be a huge change and I am re­ally up­set be­cause I love it here and I will miss my friends. I don’t know how to han­dle the sit­u­a­tion. Any ad­vice?

me start by say­ing that you’re ab­so­lutely right – this move is go­ing to be a big change for you and your fam­ily, and it’s go­ing to take time and a fair DR IKRAMULLAH AL NASIR amount of courage for you to fully ad­just to the news.

I sug­gest you be­gin by fo­cus­ing on the pos­i­tives. It’s far too easy in life to de­fault to a negative set­ting. First, try to take on board this new de­vel­op­ment as pos­i­tively as pos­si­ble, no mat­ter how dif­fi­cult that might seem ini­tially.

View your move in the most ad­ven­tur­ous spirit that you can; not ev­ery­one your age has the chance to live in dif­fer­ent parts of the world, and those who do of­ten don’t get the chance to live to­gether as a com­plete fam­ily unit when a par­ent works abroad. Try think­ing of your­self as the lucky one, start­ing a whole new in­ter­est­ing life chap­ter – seize the op­por­tu­nity and en­joy it.

Mov­ing away from your es­tab­lished sur­round­ings is never easy; it can bring up a whole range of con­flict­ing emo­tions – from anger and frus­tra­tion, to feel­ings of loss and grief. But by an­tic­i­pat­ing these feel­ings, you can learn to com­bat them by try­ing to build an op­ti­mistic out­look to­wards your move. While it’s in­evitable you will miss your cur­rent friends, re­mem­ber it’s a mod­ern world, which means you’re never more than a ‘click’ away from any­one, and friend­ships can con­tinue to flourish even at ge­o­graphic ex­tremes.

And if you’re wor­ried about mak­ing new friends, don’t be; you’ve made them be­fore and I’m sure you will make them again. I’m sure you’ll be the ‘new cool kid from over­seas’.

This move is a big deal for ev­ery­one. I’m sure your par­ents must be ap­pre­hen­sive as well. It’s im­por­tant you let them know your con­cerns, while show­ing you ap­pre­ci­ate and un­der­stand that they have made this de­ci­sion for the best. This is a time to demon­strate a level of ma­tu­rity they will ap­pre­ci­ate. RUS­SELL HEMMINGS

is a life coach, and clin­i­cal and cog­ni­tive be­havioural hyp­nother­a­pist

is a lead­ing spe­cial­ist der­ma­tol­o­gist based in Dubai

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