Do you love grand gestures or are you laid-back when it comes to romancing your partner? Do you keep comparing yourself to others or do you like to take charge of a situation? Take our quiz to find out
Take our love quiz to find out what kind of a romantic you are.
It’s the time of year when our thoughts turn to love, but according to experts, we all have a different concept of romance.
While one person will like nothing better than spending Valentine’s Day having a couple’s treatment at a spa, another will love receiving expensive cufflinks or jewellery, and still others will want to see the latest movie.
‘There are many different traits when we talk about romantics,’ says psychotherapist Tricia Woolfrey, the author of 21 Ways & 21 Days to the Life You Want. ‘We might be very loved-up and touchy-feely with our partner, or we could be laid-back and relaxed about romance.’ So which one are you?
Grand gestures are your thing
You’re passionate and your relationships will be intense and full-on. You give enormous bouquets of flowers or a dozen heart-shaped balloons, and you love cuddling your partner in public, says Tricia.
‘If you’re planning a weekend away, you whisk your special person off to Rome or Paris to a luxury hotel,’ says Tricia. ‘You hold hands across the table in a restaurant and cosy up on the sofa to watch a movie.
‘Your language is intense – you tell your partner they’re the best thing that ever happened to you, or they’re the most beautiful woman or handsome man in the world.
‘We usually feel this passion at the start of a relationship when the chemical dopamine and the pleasure hormone oxytocin make us feel very connected with our partners.
‘If you’re the passionate type, your partner will feel so good because they get lots of attention.’
You’re happiest when you get plenty of reassurance from your partner about everything, from your shape and your clothes to the way you deal with the children and the job you do. You bask in being their number one priority and you enjoy their feedback.
When you’re out together, you may compare yourself to other couples. A woman might wonder if the other women at a party are thinner than her, while a man may check out the other husbands and decide he needs to work out more or wear sharper suits.
Tricia explains: ‘This person may ask for feedback about how they look. They may even say: “I look awful”, in the hope they will get a compliment.
‘They can be competitive in other areas. They often want the furniture they saw in a glossy magazine or the most friends on Facebook.’
Prefer to be in charge
You like your romance to run like clockwork and you want to know exactly what’s happening and when because it makes you feel strong and in control.
You make the decisions in your relationship – you decide who your friends are, what you spend your money on and where you will go on holiday.
‘If you take charge, you will happily book tables, plan itineraries for weekends away and invite people to dinner,’ says Tricia, ‘but you are not as happy when unexpected things, such as illness or having to work late, get in the way of your plans.
‘On the few occasions you ask for help, you want the job doing immediately – you
expect your partner to be as quick off the mark as you.’
Like to please?
You’re often on the lookout for things that need doing, and you can be heard saying: ‘Let me do that for you,’ or ‘Leave that with me and I’ll sort it out for you.’
You’re very obliging and you like to please your partner and keep them happy. You’ll check their car oil and tyres regularly, or you’ll buy their favourite cupcakes on your way home from work.
When you go out, you’ll wear the clothes you know they like and at mealtimes, you’ll check if they like the food and if they’ve had enough to eat.
Tricia says: ‘This person moulds themselves into the type of Valentine they think their partner wants. For example, if a lady is with a man who loves football, she’ll watch it all day with him, even though she isn’t that interested in it.’
Going with the flow
You like to take a back seat in your romance and you go with the flow most of the time. You’re not keen to make decisions – you like your partner to tell you what’s happening. That way, you don’t have to take responsibility if things don’t go to plan.
You shrug or laugh off behaviour you’re not happy with – you feel it’s best not to cause arguments. Anything for a quiet life!
‘You don’t like to ask for what you want,’ says Tricia, ‘whether that’s a table for two on your birthday or your anniversary, or help with the housework or children.
‘You see yourself as easy-going, but by being too laid-back you run the risk of being ignored or taken for granted.’
You have a strong sense of yourself and you accept your partner for who they are, not the ideal they can be moulded into.
‘When you meet someone for the first time, you’re open-minded and you don’t have a pre-conceived agenda,’ says Tricia.
‘You problem-solve as a couple. You’re not embarrassed to deal with issues, such as money or health problems, and you handle them with grace and tact.
‘If you hit a tricky time, you talk about how you can get your romance back on track. You know when you both need to make more effort.
‘In a relationship, you may hold hands and you won’t feel threatened if your partner looks at other people. You enjoy events like Valentine’s Day and you’re relaxed about what you do to celebrate.’