With summer vacation upon us, our columnist Lori Borgman shares some pearls of wisdom to help us get through.
Lori Borgman finds the funny in everyday life, writing from the heartland of the US. Now, if she could just find her car keys...
We’re going to take a vacation this summer, but first I’ll need a short vacation to muster up the energy to plan and pack for the vacation, and then another vacation when the vacation is over to recoup from the vacation.
Vacations are relaxing. When they’re not exhausting.
We tend to have high expectations when it comes to vacations. Personally, I always leave for vacation hoping to return home taller, tanner, thinner, and so well-rested that I look 10 years younger. Is that expecting too much?
Over the years, we have learned to temper our vacation expectations and have found the following to be true:
Because there is often an argument over the course of a vacation, try to have it between the time you exit the house and get in the car. The sooner you have it, the better. Have it, get over it, and enjoy the trip.
Send extra underwear for every family member to your vacation destination a week before you leave. That way, when you get there and someone begins to come unglued because they forgot to pack underwear, you can calm while seated in your beach chair, enjoying the view.
Do not vacation where we vacation. It’s not that we wouldn’t share our favourite vacation spots, it’s that our vacation spots have taken us through a tornado, flooding, gale-force winds and a forest fire. Some people just have a knack for finding the good places.
Do not wing it. That might work in the movies, but in real life if you take off not knowing where you’ll end up or where you’re staying, you can be courting disaster. We did that once and wound up at a hotel with a bad odour, a room with a window that wouldn’t close and carpet that squished when we walked on it. Sketchy people partied by the vending machines down the hall all night. It was awful. But we still give it points for memorable.
Oh, go ahead and wing it. At least once on your vacation, lose the GPS and the itinerary and take off on the road less travelled. It could be the best trip of your life.
When you become a grandma, know that you will be sitting with the kids in the rear of the vehicle with the responsibility of keeping them entertained. I once bought 50 miles of peace with a well-stocked cosmetic bag – an old compact, a tube of pink lip gloss and an eyeliner pencil.
The kids painted their faces and
DO NOT vacation where we vacation. Our vacation spots have taken us through a TORNADO, flooding, gale-force winds and a FOREST FIRE. Some people just have a knack for finding the GOOD PLACES
drew in big eyebrows. Their parents were somewhat aghast when we stopped to eat, but the staff at the fast food joint thoroughly enjoyed it.
Even with the best planning and realistic expectations, things can still go wrong on vacation. If that happens, I have two words for you (the duct tape that can fix any problem known to man) – ice cream. Nothing ever seems quite so bad after ice cream.