Ihadn’t even begun my detox when the laughter started. After putting it off for two days (couldn’t find all the ingredients needed, and there was other food in the fridge to be eaten were the top excuses) the moment had finally come where my immediate family and I would put ourselves in the hands of Gwyneth Paltrow’s finest gluten-free recipes.
Why am I ‘detoxing’?, you might ask. The usual reasons – big summer event, plans to wear swimwear in public, the opportunity to torture my family a little with recipes containing spirulina.
Once you get over being coffee-deprived, there’s a lot to laugh about when doing a detox, because the margin for comical failure is wide.
Can one thinly slice butternut squash so that it resembles a tortilla, flexibly wrapping it around some shrimp and avo? In the picture online, yes; in my kitchen, not so much.
Butternut squash, we discovered, crumbles when you try to bend it (you’d think this would have been apparent ahead of time, but if Gwyn can make it happen, I’m a believer). This was the best example of internet vs real life that’s ever happened to me, mostly because I don’t buy dresses from those ads that pop up on Facebook (keep trying, Mark Zuckerberg – ain’t gonna happen).
Freezing bananas for smoothies? Peel ’em first. If not, it makes for plenty of morning mirth over the lemon water, however, and as last week’s feature on laughter yoga told us, giggling is the new kale, so I consider it an important element of my three-day detox.
We’ve got detox on the mind with the fact that more guys than ever are signing up for clean-eating sessions – and loving it. Read their experiences on page 21. Someone who might need a detox every now and then is Crazy Legs Conti (not his birth name, you’ll be amazed to hear) a competitive eater – one of those guys who eats dozens of hot dogs in minutes. Mike Peake chats to him about that line of work on page 34.
If you’re serious about healthy eating, on a global scale, then check out chef Heston Blumenthal’s piece on page 24. He writes how we can train our brains to help us eat more healthily – taxation, he says, won’t change our relationship with hot chocolate that much.