‘IT’LL BE THE MID­DLE OF THE WEEK, AND I’LL THINK,

WHY AREN’T THESE KIDS IN SCHOOL?’

Golf Digest Middle East - - Play Your Best Com­pe­ti­tion Slug By First­name Lastn -

Ig­nor­ing the rules of per­sonal space and tak­ing turns. Shov­ing. Us­ing out­door voices in golf’s churchy set­ting. In­duc­ing chil­dren to get sig­na­tures for them, mak­ing it im­pos­si­ble not to be re­minded of Fa­gin and Oliver Twist; and now, pro­fanely in­sult­ing one of the most pop­u­lar sports­men in the world.

But deco­rum ruled when AP went to the ropes, and “Please” and “Thank you” filled the air, in part be­cause The King signed ev­ery­thing for any­one. An es­ti­mated three mil­lion au­to­graphs in his life­time. Leg­i­bly: big A, big P, and the 10 at­tached lit­tle let­ters were even and dis­tinct; it’s no sur­prise or co­in­ci­dence that Sam Saun­ders, Arnie’s grand­son, has the clear­est sig­na­ture on tour. At home in La­trobe, Pa., Palmer du­ti­fully au­to­graphed items by the truck­load, and re­turned to senders on his own dime. It cost him a for­tune.

Palmer was dog­matic on the sub­ject. As Peter Ja­cob­sen re­called, Arnie would put down his glass of Ke­tel One on the rocks, twist of lemon, and in­struct his young friend to al­ways be nice. Don’t scrib­ble your name, for God’s sake. Sign a golf ball if they want (which is a pain; try it). Don’t come off the 18th green mad; peo­ple don’t care if you just shot 60 or 80. And don’t dis­re­spect the guy who is ob­vi­ously go­ing to sell your au­to­graph.

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