Say­ing noth­ing but say­ing it ex­cit­edly, enough to get you ra­dio job in Dubai, ex­perts say

Infusion Magazine - - THE SPIN -

A new study has emerged in Dubai that sheds life on the city’s ra­dio sta­tions and their ‘ disc jock­eys.’ Af­ter lis­ten­ing to weeks worth of con­tent, or to use the proper in­dus­try term drivel, the re­search team found the per­fect for­mula for a Dubai ra­dio DJ. ‘ It ac­tu­ally doesn’t mat­ter what you say,’ com­mented Chris Evans, ‘ as long as you say it like an ex­cited four year old. That per­pet­ual ex­cite­ment fools the brain into think­ing that there’s some­thing good com­ing up, but also turns your brain off ef­fec­tively, putting you in the per­fect ra­dio mood. It’s re­ally rather cun­ning,’ he said be­fore hum­ming the jin­gle to the RAK Bank ad­vert. The re­port also found that sta­tion playlists were com­piled by the sta­tion head’s daugh­ter us­ing iPod playlists, and that Four Non Blon­des has been played more time in Dubai than through­out the whole of the 90s. Popular ra­dio celebrity Kris Fade could not be reached for com­ment.

Com­ing soon: Ry­der Van Romero ex­clu­sive in­ter­view...

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Th­ese sto­ries are not true, this is not a real news­pa­per. This is a par­ody/fic­tion/satire/joke. The Spin is not in­tended, in any way what­so­ever, to be taken as fac­tual.

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