Face­book to ban the words ‘un­der­ground,’ ‘vibes’ and ‘Ber­lin style party’ from their event pages

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In a move that will send shock­waves around Dubai’s un­der­ground dance mu­sic cul­ture, Face­book have banned the use of sev­eral key words as they were ‘ hideously over used and not ap­pli­ca­ble.’ Any event pages from Dubai bear­ing the words ‘ un­der­ground’ will now be banned, a blow for the dozens of nights which now claim to be play­ing un­der­ground mu­sic in the city, while any posts with the word ‘ vibes’ in it will be re­moved us­ing their in­tegrity pro­tec­tion soft­ware. So­nia R. Aver said that the move was de­signed to pro­tect FB users from a del­uge of bad pro­mo­tion. ‘ There just aren’t that many un­der­ground nights in the city – you can’t all be un­der­ground, surely, so we’ve just blan­ket banned the phrase. As for vibes, well – that speaks for it­self. And any­one com­par­ing a Dubai party to Ber­lin needs shoot­ing, but we don’t have an app for that. Yet.’

Work­ers re­lieved af­ter of­fi­cials re­veal Dubai tem­per­a­ture won’t of­fi­cially ex­ceed 40 de­grees this sum­mer.

Th­ese sto­ries are not true, this is not a real news­pa­per. This is a par­ody/fic­tion/satire/joke. The Spin is not in­tended, in any way

what­so­ever, to be taken as fac­tual.

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