IT MUST BE TRUE… I read it in the tabloids

The Week Middle East - - News -

Po­lice who came to in­ves­ti­gate an un­ex­ploded Sec­ond World War bomb in a gar­den in south-west Ger­many were able to in­form the house­holder that he was quite safe: the “ord­nance” was ac­tu­ally just a large cour­gette. Of­fi­cers said the 5kg veg­etable had prob­a­bly been thrown over the hedge. A man who sent his ex-part­ner 144 “nasty’’ texts was or­dered to write 144 com­pli­ments, to help make up for it. “For ev­ery nasty thing you said about her, you’re go­ing to say a nice thing,” Judge Rhonda Loo told the de­fen­dant, on the Hawai­ian is­land of Maui. “No re­peat­ing words.” He was also given com­mu­nity service, and fined $2,400. A wo­man who or­dered a Peppa Pig cake for her daugh­ter’s birth­day was sur­prised when the bak­ery gave her one fea­tur­ing a large pic­ture of a USB stick (pic­tured). “They asked me to bring in the im­age I wanted on a mem­ory stick and they would scan it onto a cake,” ex­plained Karen Moroney, from Lim­er­ick in Ire­land. “So I did. The Peppa Pig pic­ture was the only file on it. But some­one got their wires crossed and put a pic­ture of the USB on the cake in­stead.” A sus­pected thief was ar­rested af­ter be­ing found stuck up­side down in an ex­trac­tor fan at a take­away in Birm­ing­ham. Po­lice were alerted by a passer-by who saw the sus­pect’s legs stick­ing out. When they en­tered the shop, they found the rest of him dan­gling over the top of a hob. He’d been there for seven hours.

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