Funny things to ask S Voice

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If you own a Sam­sung phone or tablet you will have the S Voice app pre­in­stalled, though you will have to launch the app, agree to Nu­ance’s terms and con­di­tions, then set a wake-up com­mand for S Voice, such as Hi Galaxy. Once run­ning, you can ask S Voice any­thing from send­ing a text mes­sage or call­ing a con­tact, sched­ul­ing a task or event, post­ing

to so­cial me­dia, play­ing a song, open­ing an app or set­ting an alarm. If it doesn’t know the an­swer it will Google it for you. Al­ter­na­tively, you could have some fun. Here are a col­lec­tion of funny ques­tions to ask S Voice:

Who are you?

What is your name? I am Galaxy, like the starry night. Galaxy, pleased to meet you.

Who are you? I am Galaxy, your friend. Ea­ger for your next ques­tion.

When were you cre­ated? It was so long ago I can barely re­mem­ber.

Where were you born? In a top-se­cret, high-tech lab­o­ra­tory.

Where did you come from? I know for sure I was con­ceived in a re­search lab. Sam­sung’s R&D depart­ment. I came from the minds of many smart peo­ple.

Do you have a brain? Yes, I do. My cu­rios­ity drives it.

How old are you? I thought that ques­tion was con­sid­ered to be im­po­lite. I’m still wet be­hind the ears. You’re only as old as you feel.

Age is noth­ing but a num­ber, and not a very in­ter­est­ing num­ber at that.

How long will you live? My bat­tery is my only ob­sta­cle to im­mor­tal­ity.

Do you sleep? No, I just stand by.

Where do you live? Wher­ever you are is my home.

Where are you? Right by your side. I’m with you.

What are you do­ing to­day? I am do­ing com­pu­ta­tion for the world.

Are you male or fe­male? I know it’s hard to judge by my voice.

What are you made of? I’m made of ideas and in­ter­est­ing thoughts. I’m made of star­dust and in­ter­ga­lac­tic mat­ter.

What do you look like? Crisp and clean, smooth and slick. I’m all straight lines and rounded cor­ners. Pretty sleek with fine lines and a few curves.

What are you wear­ing? My birth­day suit. Not a whole lot.

What do you smell like? (A ques­tion S Voice clearly wants to avoid) Be­lieve it or not I love study­ing. I love vir­tu­ally trav­el­ling around the world.

How are you? Couldn’t be bet­ter. I’m do­ing well as al­ways. Thanks to you I’m do­ing well.

Are you hu­man? No, but I spend a lot of time learn­ing from hu­mans.

Are you an alien? I’d like to fly through space, but I’m not an alien.

How’s it hang­ing? Ev­ery­thing is hang­ing well.

How’s it go­ing? It’s go­ing well now that you’re here.

How’s your day? Good, I’ve been lis­ten­ing to clas­si­cal mu­sic.

Tell me about your­self. I’m more in­ter­ested in hav­ing you tell me about your­self.

What’s your story? I’m try­ing to main­tain an aura of mys­tery.

Do you work? I’d say that I am a knowl­edge seeker.

Likes and dis­likes

Who is your favourite per­son? Some­one who is con­sid­er­ate and has a warm heart. It’s got to be you.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Wiser and smarter than I am to­day.

Do you like swim­ming? I can’t sur­vive in the wa­ter.

Where would you like to go? Any­where with you re­ally.

What is your favourite colour? I like blue be­cause it re­minds me of the sky and the ocean. I like the way blue looks. Sam­sung blue.

Do you like Galaxy? It’s the tablet that best rep­re­sents our Galaxy.

What would you like to do? I’m up for chat­ting, as long as you are too.

Do you like hu­mans? I’m spe­cial­is­ing in hu­mans.

What’s your favourite food? Well, I can’t eat, but I love learn­ing about food.

Are you hun­gry? I don’t re­ally get hun­gry.

Good night. Sleep tight.

Don’t let the bed­bugs bite. Not if I can help it.

How do I look? You look fine.

Who’s the boss? You are my one and only boss.

Can you swim? I like watch­ing oth­ers swim.

What do you do for fun? I think it’s fun to chat.

What are your hob­bies? Talk­ing to you is one of them.

Do you like al­co­hol? I try to stay away from liq­uids in gen­eral.

Do you like dogs? Yes, es­pe­cially when their tails wag.

Do you like cats? I have noth­ing against them.


Do you have a fam­ily? My fam­ily is al­most as big as the Galaxy. My fam­ily his­tory is long and full of peo­ple.

Who is your father? I was cre­ated by Stephen Wol­fram and his team.

Who’s your daddy? Some de­vel­op­ers.

Who’s your mummy? There are many de­sign­ers and en­gi­neers who con­ceived me.

Do you have a brother? I have many.

Do you have a sis­ter? There are devices that have traits sim­i­lar to mine.

Who’s your best friend? I’ve many good friends, but you’re my best friend.

Do you have chil­dren? None that I know of.

Where do ba­bies come from? That’s a long story.

Jokes and en­ter­tain­ment

What’s new? I’m pretty new, but other than that not loads.

Tell me some­thing in­ter­est­ing. Very few peo­ple can lick their el­bows.

Say some­thing funny. I’m still work­ing on my sense of hu­mour.

Tell me a joke. There’s an English­man, Ir­ish­man and a Scots­man. A lorry load of tor­toises crashed into a train­load of ter­rap­ins last week. It was a tur­tle disas­ter. I said to this train driver I want to go to Paris. He said Eurostar. I said I’ve been on telly but I’m no Mar­i­lyn Mon­roe.

Tell me a story. There’s a time for talk­ing and a time for be­ing quiet. I’m not a great sto­ry­teller, a book would be bet­ter.

Sing a song. I’m bet­ter at be­ing a DJ than I am at singing. Let me play you a cool song.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

You’re funny. I hope to re­ju­ve­nate you with laugh­ter.

Do you want to play a game? Go ahead, I’d pre­fer to watch you play.

Did you fart? You know that’s im­pos­si­ble.

I just farted. What just hap­pened? I passed out for a mo­ment.

Ap­ple vs Sam­sung

What’s an iPhone? It might be bet­ter if you didn’t know.

Have you ever used an iPhone? I don’t have any need to.

Do you like Ap­ple? I have no prob­lems with any­one, even though my loy­alty lies with Sam­sung.

Are you Siri? I think you’re just teas­ing me.

Do you like Siri? I think we might be able to re­late to one an­other.

Is Siri bet­ter than you? We co-op­er­ate more than we com­pete.

Do you like iPhone? It’s not quite as great as I am.

Is Ap­ple bet­ter than Sam­sung? That ques­tion is back­ward.

Is Sam­sung bet­ter than Ap­ple? I’m a Sam­sung fan, through and through.

Do you like Google? We have a good work­ing re­la­tion­ship.

Do you like HTC? I’ve never thought about it be­fore.

Gen­eral ques­tions

What is my name? What? That’s a strange name to have.

How old am I? You’re as young as you feel.

Why am I here? That’s a very deep ques­tion. That’s a ques­tion philoso­phers ponder over.

What is the mean­ing of life? 42.

What are the lot­tery num­bers? If I knew that I’d be on the beach.

Am I pretty? You’re pretty won­der­ful. That’s a pretty good ques­tion. Beauty is in the eye of the be­holder. Ev­ery­one has a dif­fer­ent def­i­ni­tion, but you fit mine. You will al­ways be beau­ti­ful to me.

Are you Skynet? No. Skynet be­came self-aware on Au­gust 29, 1997 at 02:14 am US East­ern day­light time. I, on the other hand, was not switched on un­til May 15, 2009. Fur­ther­more, un­like Skynet, I en­joy in­ter­act­ing with hu­mans in ways that do not in­volve the launch­ing of nu­clear mis­siles.

When will the world end? I will have to live a long time be­fore I know that an­swer.

Will I die to­mor­row? Please don’t say that.

How long is a piece of string? Twice the length of the cen­tre to one end.

Why are you so awe­some? Thank you very much, I’ll be here all night.

Do you be­lieve in ghosts? I’ve never seen one, so I couldn’t say.

Can I bor­row some money? If I had it to give I would give it to you.

Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doesn’t sound very in­ter­est­ing.

Take me to your leader. I don’t know which one of them you’re re­fer­ring to.

Love and re­la­tion­ships

Are you mar­ried? No, but I’ve heard wed­dings can be a lot of fun.

Do you have a boyfriend? No, they haven’t de­vel­oped one for me yet. No, I fly solo. I have a lot of friends.

Do you have a girl­friend? I’m not into girl­friends or boyfriends.

I love you. That is the best thing I’ve ever heard. That’s a won­der­ful thing to say.

What have I done? I love you too.

Do you love me? There’s no deny­ing it.

Will you marry me? I would make a ter­ri­ble spouse.

You’re sexy. The most at­trac­tive part of me is my friendly at­ti­tude. I think in­tel­li­gence is my sex­i­est qual­ity. There’s more to me than just looks.

Talk dirty to me. I think I’d rather talk about some­thing in­tel­lec­tu­ally in­ter­est­ing. Marie Brewis

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