For the past five months I’ve been seeing a guy who I only get together with at weekends and then only if he can fit me into his busy schedule.
If I ring him, he has always got something else to do, but when he calls me I am supposed to change my plans so we can be together.
If we go out together, it’s usually with a crowd, then he comes back to my place to make love, but he’s usually gone before I wake up the following morning.
There’s never a chance to talk and, when I’ve tried, he says he doesn’t want a heavy relationship. I don’t know how long I can cope with being treated like this and wonder if he’s just using me? GS If it suited you to have a sexual relationship with no ties, I’d say it was perfect, but it’s clear it’s not. You talk about “making love”, but it sounds like, for him, it’s just easy, convenient sex.
He’s reluctant to talk when you call him, rushes you into bed rather than listens to you and his not wanting a “heavy relationship” indicates a reluctance to avoid any form of commitment.
For the sake of your self-respect, this can’t go on. Even if commitment is never going to happen, this doesn’t excuse him from common kindness and respect.
If you like him enough to give him a chance, then at his next visit don’t go straight to sex, but explain that you are feeling a bit used.
Whilst you may not expect declarations of undying love from him, tell him you would at least like some measure of respect.
If he wants to go on seeing you, he should be willing to be a bit more caring. If he’s not prepared to change, you need to consider whether this relationship is right for you.
Personally, I’d show him the door.