He’s put on weight

Belfast Telegraph - Weekend - - WEEKEND TV -

I love my hus­band but over the past four years he has put on a lot of weight.

He ac­knowl­edges that he is heavy and that he is prob­a­bly putting his health at risk, but he’s re­luc­tant to do any­thing about it.

I’ve tried and tried to get him to join a gym but he won’t go. What’s re­ally both­er­ing me is that I fear I am no longer at­tracted to him sex­u­ally. Do you think if I tell him it will make him lose weight? FIONA SAYS: MAKE LIFE­STYLE CHANGES TO­GETHER In my ex­pe­ri­ence, prob­a­bly not and it’s more likely to se­verely dent his self-im­age and cre­ate even more fric­tion be­tween you over this is­sue.

In­stead en­cour­age him by say­ing you would love to see him the way he was when you first got to­gether.

Then do all you can to help him lose the weight, which doesn’t have to mean join­ing a gym.

Cou­ple this with only hav­ing healthy food in the house and I am sure you’ll soon see re­sults. My ex-wife and I used to run a busi­ness to­gether. but we had to sell ev­ery­thing, in­clud­ing the house, and we ended up get­ting a messy and spite­ful di­vorce. Three years on I still feel bit­ter, as now I can only af­ford to rent a tiny flat. My ex-wife by com­par­i­son has re-mar­ried and started an­other busi­ness. Why can’t I move on from this? FIONA SAYS: FO­CUS ON THE FU­TURE You’ve been badly hurt by this ex­pe­ri­ence and it’s un­der­stand­able that you feel bit­ter.

How­ever, noth­ing will be gained by dwelling on the pain. You must move on from here if you are to be happy again.

Your ex-wife has shown that it is pos­si­ble and, if she can do it, so can you.

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