‘What I went through was a garden variety tale of an addict ... you have to try to figure out what the true value of living is’
resultant purification. That’s where Martin’s heart very much is. He is a very prideful man. He carries himself as if he is a God. “He feels every day that he is cradling the creation of human life, the human heart, so that he can perform surgery. He is like Alec Baldwin in another film (Malice) where he plays a surgeon and says: ‘Do you think I’m God? Let me tell you. I am God!’” Is Colin religious? “I don’t align myself with any particular religion, or any particular philosophy on it,’’ Colin says, and he is searching for “even a proximity with regard to what our purpose in life may be.
“I have a mishmash of this and the other. But I tried very hard years ago to be an atheist because I thought it was more interesting or I thought it had more intellectual validity or worth — and I couldn’t quite cross the bridge. I couldn’t quite make it to the other side.
“I do believe in something that is bigger than us. To someone who is atheist they would say that is a cop out. But I think there are other realms. I think there are greater things than the eye can see or the brain can even comprehend, especially when we are only using 10% of the brain’s capability. So we can only comprehend what we can comprehend. You know, our evolution as sentient beings? I’m completely fine that there are complexities and mysteries that are way beyond the understanding of any human being. Having said that, I don’t find science and religion to be a dividing force. I think they can go hand in hand.
“I don’t know what I am,” he says returning to the original question of religious belief. “I struggle with it.” In terms of his artistic, rather than spiritual evolution, does Colin feel he has gone through a transformation with indie movies like The Lobster and The Killing of a Sacred Deer?
“No. From the inside of it, it is really not so much that. I feel that I’m doing work that is more challenging to me as an actor and to me as a man. The work I’m doing now is less physical. It is deeper, from the outside looking in. I see the results of the sculpture. But for the sculptor, who is creating the sculpture, it happens bit by bit, step by step. You arrive wherever you arrive as a result of a thousand choices and events.”
Did you need to kill Colin Farrell, the big action movie star, in order that Colin Farrell could live?
He laughs: “I think the box office killed that for me, man! I rose very quickly through the ranks and had a lot of commercial success very early and couldn’t make head nor tail of it. I did a couple of big films that didn’t work. Then there wasn’t the opportunity to do big films and it sort of forced my hand and it took me to involve myself in a scale of work and intimacy of work that I do find fundamentally more interesting.
“Even through the years when I was doing big films or more commercial films, or action films, I was still doing Intermission (2003) or A Home At The End Of The World (2004) and still trying to do smaller films and sometimes