Mum won’t quit drink
My mother is an alcoholic and has been for many years. I still live at home, which gets me down, and I do everything for her, including buying the food. I even gave up going to university because I knew she wouldn’t cope.
She’s never been nasty to me (except when I try to hide her bottles), but she hasn’t worked for years and I know that if I left she would fall apart. I’m 22 and want to leave, but what can I do? FIONA SAYS: THE SOONER YOU MAKE A BREAK THE BETTER Your wish to help your mother does you credit, but if you continue to prop her up like this, she is never going acknowledge she has a problem — let alone get help.
I suspect you already know that, as you’ve already tried to intervene by hiding her bottles, which hasn’t helped.
You’ll think this harsh, but you have a right to a life of your own and the sooner you make a break the better.
To help you through this process I suggest you contact Al-Anon (al-anonuk. org.uk). FIONA SAYS: IT’S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO SPEAK OUT Absolutely not. I do think your husband needs to know what’s happening. I suggest that you confront this man if he approaches you inappropriately again. Last week I found my 12-year-old son and his friend more than a bit drunk. They’d got back from school and started trying most of the spirits in my drinks cupboard. My son has since apologised and promised that he’ll never do it again and has also asked if his friend can come around again. That’s what I’m not sure about. Am I overreacting? FIONA SAYS: WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES Perhaps a little, especially as this seems to be the first instance of trouble, but it’s understandable. Suggest to your son that he can come around but that you’d like to see him face-to-face on his next visit.
Explain that he is welcome to visit in future, but only if he understands that the drinks cupboard is out of bounds.