Mum won’t quit drink

Belfast Telegraph - Weekend - - WEEKEND TV -

My mother is an al­co­holic and has been for many years. I still live at home, which gets me down, and I do ev­ery­thing for her, in­clud­ing buy­ing the food. I even gave up go­ing to univer­sity be­cause I knew she wouldn’t cope.

She’s never been nasty to me (ex­cept when I try to hide her bot­tles), but she hasn’t worked for years and I know that if I left she would fall apart. I’m 22 and want to leave, but what can I do? FIONA SAYS: THE SOONER YOU MAKE A BREAK THE BET­TER Your wish to help your mother does you credit, but if you con­tinue to prop her up like this, she is never go­ing ac­knowl­edge she has a prob­lem — let alone get help.

I sus­pect you al­ready know that, as you’ve al­ready tried to in­ter­vene by hid­ing her bot­tles, which hasn’t helped.

You’ll think this harsh, but you have a right to a life of your own and the sooner you make a break the bet­ter.

To help you through this process I sug­gest you con­tact Al-Anon (al-anonuk. org.uk). FIONA SAYS: IT’S YOUR RE­SPON­SI­BIL­ITY TO SPEAK OUT Ab­so­lutely not. I do think your hus­band needs to know what’s hap­pen­ing. I sug­gest that you con­front this man if he ap­proaches you in­ap­pro­pri­ately again. Last week I found my 12-year-old son and his friend more than a bit drunk. They’d got back from school and started try­ing most of the spir­its in my drinks cup­board. My son has since apol­o­gised and promised that he’ll never do it again and has also asked if his friend can come around again. That’s what I’m not sure about. Am I over­re­act­ing? FIONA SAYS: WE ALL MAKE MIS­TAKES Per­haps a lit­tle, es­pe­cially as this seems to be the first in­stance of trou­ble, but it’s un­der­stand­able. Sug­gest to your son that he can come around but that you’d like to see him face-to-face on his next visit.

Ex­plain that he is wel­come to visit in fu­ture, but only if he un­der­stands that the drinks cup­board is out of bounds.

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