Nadia’s agony
On the surface, Nadia Sawalha seems eternally upbeat - yet she has revealed that anxiety often ‘cripples’ her…
Bubbly Loose Women panellist Nadia Sawalha would describe herself as ‘a naturally happy person’, particularly compared to husband Mark Adderley, 45, whose struggles with depression and, formerly, alcoholism are well documented.
She’s been admirably honest about her rocky patches (including a violent relationship, miscarriage and an addiction to over-eating), but has spoken less about her ongoing struggles with worry and anxiety.
Last week, in a YouTube chat with pal Kaye Adams, the 52-year-old revealed these unwanted feelings loom large in her life.
Up to her mid-40s, her fear was of failing – at everything.
‘ When I think about the things I avoided through fear of failure… those are my regrets in life,’ she confessed.
‘Sometimes, I feel the weight of the label of being a “happy person”. It doesn’t mean I don’t worry constantly.
‘This week, I had three days where I felt completely overwhelmed... I have moments of feeling hopeless.’
Level-headed Kaye, 54, was surprised by Nadia’s recent revelation that she felt like she was ‘going mad’.
It was only 7.30am, but Nadia had been thinking about death – a big preoccupation.
‘Already today, I’ve thought of at least 15 different things I could die of,’ Nadia said. But what truly scares the mother-of-two (she and Mark have daughters Maddie, 14, and Kiki, nine) isn’t a fear of death being ‘painful’. Instead, she revealed, ‘I’m scared of leaving everybody I love. I want to see my children grow up.’
As a young woman, Nadia’s mother would try and assuage her fears about death, saying, ‘Don’t be silly – you won’t know anything when it happens; you’ll be dead!’
But that approach simply hasn’t worked, Nadia admits.
‘At the moment, there are five illnesses I’m convinced I’ve got. I’m worried I’ll die and leave my children!’
With her wicked sense of humour undamaged, Nadia ended on a positive.
‘Sometimes, when I’m consumed with the fear of dying, I think, you know what? Kaye’s right – everyone will be fine. I’m still thinking of getting a freezer full of food, though, just in case…’