Tour de Phar­macy

Bikes Etc - - AWARDS 2017 -

Don’t be put off by the naff name, this ‘mock­u­men­tary’ about dop­ing in the pro cy­cling scene dur­ing the 1980s is a gen­uine rib-tick­ler. Not least be­cause it fea­tures what must count as one of the odd­est cast line-ups in what our Amer­i­can cousins call mo­tion­pic­ture his­tory. It stars Or­lando Bloom as a randy Ital­ian racer, phone-both­erer Kevin Ba­con as a corrupt UCI of­fi­cial, and mon­ster Swede Dolph Lun­gren as a ’roided up Aus­trian loon. Jon Hamm of Mad Men fame nar­rates, but look out, too, for Danny Glover, Jeff Gold­blum, Jon Cena, and Mike Tyson among a host of other faces you’ll recog­nise if you watch a lot of Amer­i­can com­edy. Stag­ger­ingly, even Lance Arm­strong puts in an ap­pear­ance as ‘an anony­mous in­for­mant’! At around 40 min­utes long, this is more a bar­rage of sketches than a flat-out fea­ture film but it in that short time Tour de Phar­macy man­ages to cram in naked cy­clists, pelo­ton pile-ups, re­ally slow races, Bmx-style stunts, ter­ri­ble wigs and a fight scene in which Or­lando Bloom gets punched in the head. What more could you pos­si­bly want? £4.99 / ama­

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