No consideration for those grieving
RE: Strong feelings over grave plan (page 11, Advertiser, October 2) I AM writing to register my sadness and disappointment that Chalfont St Peter Parish Council is planning to proceed with the laying to lawn on the burial plots in K section at the garden of rest.
Laying to lawn will probably ease maintenance for the council. However, those of us who have lost loved ones during the past couple of years require some time to grieve and the therapy of tending the resting places of our loved ones will ease this process.
Most of the established graves are well maintained and are a picture of colour, with floral tributes and plants.
Surely the heartless process of ripping up plants lovingly laid by relatives grieving their loved ones can serve no purpose.
If the council could apply some sympathetic logic and defer the decision of laying to lawn and review this proposed process some time next year, it would placate many family relatives and allow them time to come to terms with their recent loss.
Let’s hope common sense prevails.
PAUL SMITH AND CLARE RICHARDS (who tend to Plot K27, Garden of Rest Cemetery, Chalfont St Peter)
Hill Rise, Chalfont St Peter
responsible for the maintenance of the Garden of Rest but not individual graves.’
How can you suddenly become responsible and literally uproot a family’s individual grave area that has been maintained and planted by their loved ones.
As my 11-year-old grandson said in tears, ‘but we look after JaJie’s grave’.
Your measurements of 24x12in, inclusive of a plinth and headstone, leaves no space for planting.
Regulations state that grave markers are removed after 18 months, thereby leaving no identity for those graves that do not have a headstone.
Second, regarding the offer to meet and discuss the matter – pointless – when in a letter from the parish clerk to our member of parliament it states ‘… the parish council will not be changing or going to a further consultation regarding this matter’.
All I ask of the parish council is for a compassionate compromise, allowing my family and me to tend and care for my late husband’s grave until as such time it is not being maintained, and then please grass over the area.
With reference to the above document, I would like to draw your attention to the fact that the majority of the parish council committee members sat last Thursday evening with their backs to me as I addressed them regarding the grassing over of my husband’s grave.
A letter sent to me on October 10 last year from the deputy parish clerk clearly stated ‘it is our intention to turn the area of graves to “lawn” on a row-by-row basis as the spaces are used and the ground settles back after being disturbed. Row three, which includes plot K28, is not yet complete and so it will be a few years before we turn this area to lawn’.
As there are at present three plots reserved in row three of K section but not ‘used’, the parish council is misinterpreting the above.
My daughter and I have accepted an offer to discuss the matter next Tuesday with the parish clerk and chairwoman of the parish council. However, as in previous correspondence, the clerk has stated that ‘the council will not be changing or going to a further consultation regarding this matter’. This rather makes a mockery of their offer.
ANN WALLIS Denham Lane, Chalfont St Peter