Buckinghamshire Advertiser - - LIFE & LEISURE -

NEW year, new start – such a cliché.

In the Min­cham house, the more apt be­gin­ning of the year quote to be ap­plied is ‘out with the old and in with the new’ which is tak­ing ef­fect in vary­ing forms through­out our abode.

Firstly, and the most ex­cit­ing of all, is the sat­is­fy­ing rip­ping out of the un­favourable kitchen along with the in­va­sive and of­fen­sive floor to ceil­ing ‘hand-painted ef­fect’ (as in, each one ex­actly the same) blue wall tiles, a hideous sight. Most ceil­ings on the ground floor have been torn down, due to them be­ing adorned with dis­taste­ful 3D ef­fect wall­pa­per cou­pled with cheap mock ceil­ing roses to be re­placed with smooth skimmed ceil­ings.

Thirdly, the rip­ping out of the ob­jec­tion­able bath­room with the ridicu­lous ‘spa’ bath.

The ‘spa’ part of the bath ap­peal­ing to some as a lux­ury ad­di­tion to a time of re­lax­ation, but not this spa bath.

This one does not con­trib­ute any level of lux­ury or re­lax­ation what­so­ever, un­less send­ing re­ver­ber­a­tions around the en­tire house with noise lev­els re­sem­bling some­thing sim­i­lar to a jet on take-off 50 feet away is con­sid­ered tran­quil.

There­fore, it is a to­tally aban­doned and use­less el­e­ment. Wel­come, new nor­mal quiet bath.

The ren­o­va­tions have only taken a mere five and a half years to be­gin! And of course, no project is ever a straight­for­ward pro­ce­dure as first imag­ined... which leads on to the topic of the lin­ing pa­per.

Surely this should be banned, or at least come with a Bri­tish Dec­o­ra­tors warn­ing of weeks of ad­di­tional work on fu­ture re-dec­o­rat­ing projects that lie ahead. It is the bane of our lives. Then there’s the num­ber of wires and ca­bles and non-func­tion­ing cop­per pipes that surely must have served a pur­pose at some point, but now lay through­out the joists point­lessly re­dun­dant.

The project al­ready hav­ing taken its toll on the pa­tience front, with dust man­ag­ing to ac­quire any sin­gle given sur­face and item through­out. Just to be able to plonk some­thing on the still ex­ist­ing work tops and re­main clean would be a novel ex­pe­ri­ence right now.

Still, be­ing mar­ried to the lo­cal kitchen de­signer, I have high hopes of the fi­nal re­sult.

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