Canal Boat - - This Month -

Things you don’t want to hear; other peo­ple’s mis­takes; of ques­tion­able ben­e­fit

Ten ques­tions heard on a re­cent boating trip: Should that be drip­ping? In­no­cently asked by grand­daugh­ter as she was help­ing with the steer­ing and no­ticed bub­bling stream com­ing from header tank. Where’s your cap? Too busy en­gaged in con­ver­sa­tion to no­tice overhanging branch rapidly ap­proach­ing, Skip­per lost head­gear. It hung provoca­tively over the canal as he ex­e­cuted com­plex ma­noeu­vre to re­trieve it. Did we just pass a wind­ing hole? Des­per­ate for a pump-out and hav­ing plot­ted ap­pro­pri­ate course to near­est boat­yard with re­quired fa­cil­ity, again grand­daugh­ter’s in­no­cent ques­tion came as we ploughed along. What’s that pong? Ob­vi­ously the toi­let. See last ques­tion. Where’s the dog? Hav­ing a dog on board usu­ally means that you take it home with you, and not leave it on the bank with the shop­ping. Why aren’t we mov­ing? Weeds round the pro­pel­ler. Takes ages and ages and ages and ages to clear. Can I smell gas? Def­i­nitely not. Hang on a minute.... Why are my feet get­ting wet? Some­thing came adrift in the night – thank good­ness, it’s wa­ter! Have you got the wind­lass? Well, who did the last lock? In­qui­si­tion fol­lows. ( It was me.) Where’s the other mooring pin? Or, why is the boat at right an­gles to the bank?

Time to go home and call it a day...

BRID­GET YATES, via email

Where’s the dog?

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