Rolls over

It was supposedly a dealer part-ex sale – an end-of-the-week sub-£2000 wash-up of swappers, finance repos and anything that had failed to sell earlier in the week. Not really the place to bid on The Best Car In The World.

Why then was I standing in front of a dark blue Rolls-royce Phantom, a car more locomotive than lithe in styling? Despite its discreet colour, it still looked like a prop from The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

The trader next to me muttered: “What do you think they paid for that to make the gamble worthwhile?” It was a question I’d not considered. I was just taking in the details and its incongruous presence at the sale.

He had a valid point. Why on earth would somebody with such a magnificent car choose to sell it to an online company which specialises in cash purchases? This particular establishment advertises via boards cable-tied to lamp posts. This Phantom was on an 07-plate and had covered 71,000 with eight RR stamps in the service book.

It was in good nick, although I did find some cosmetic faults, meaning the top book of £95,500 was too salty for me. Bottom book was £79,900. The fact it had six registered keepers was also off-putting.

But hey! Who am I kidding? The car was mortgage money to me and, I dare say, to the trader standing next to me. So why was I even taking note of its faults and bits of missing trim?

The Phantom entered the hall quite majestically. The auctioneer had asked for £83,000 to get the ball rolling. Reserve was set at £84,000 – mid-book, I later found out.

It failed to elicit a single bid.