I love being old. I can relax now and not make any real effort to think. However, what I do know is that the man at number 18 is the cause of all our environmental problems. He drives a five-year-old Mercedes-benz diesel. All the ships, lorries, diesel trains, vans and buses that belch out black smoke are not the problem, it’s him at number 18.
He’s a nice enough bloke. He told me the Merc was a present to himself on retirement and would be the last car he buys. He said he bought it because of the good MPG and low emissions. As he has grandchildren, he wanted to do the right thing.
He told me this at the bus stop. His grandchildren have convinced him it’s more environmentally-friendly to use the bus. We live in the country, so I waited with him in the rain for 45 minutes until the bus came. I couldn’t wave goodbye because the cloud of black smoke from the 25-yearold bus started a coughing fit.