HOW TO GET LUCKY IN LOVE!
Why do some people get all the relationship success? Emma argues that while fortune does play a part, good judgement is the key to finding the man of your dreams
Iadmit it; meeting I my hubby was luck. He’d split from his wife and I’d divorced my husband and he knew me vaguely through work, so he called to talk it through. Three weeks later we were dating and a year on we got married. I’m under no illusion that there was some great force working behind the scenes to orchestrate our meeting. If he hadn’t called me that day, I’d probably still be a single mum. But it wasn’t all luck – our paths crossed when I was open to meeting someone but wasn’t putting any pressure on it, and I was in a place in my life where I was happy and fulfilled.
In the five years I was on my own, I didn’t meet any other man who I could have had a relationship with. While I wasn’t looking very hard, it did show me that meeting The One is about who we are, how we’re feeling and what we’re looking for, but also who we happen to bump into. However, there are things you can do to give yourself the best chance of doing that.
Make sure your mates know you’re looking, as they probably meet lots of guys at work and in their social lives who may be an excellent match for you.
When it comes to internet dating, don’t fall into the “parameter pitfall,” where you decide to only date men over 6ft with green eyes and a highearning job, because love simply doesn’t work this way. When you agree to go on a date, don’t think of it as meeting your potential husband. Just keep it to an hour, so if you’re having a dud night you can make a swift escape.
When dates don’t go to plan, don’t beat yourself up. You should see it as one date closer to meeting the perfect guy. Should you find yourself on a series of date disasters, then take a little break. It can feel depressing and demotivating to feel repeatedly rejected or disappointed, so create some space until you get your mojo back. When you’re confident and refreshed you will automatically be more attractive.
Be proactive with your social life, whether that’s going on nights out with the girls, or joining a local am dram group. If you have no problem getting into relationships, but they always end in disaster, it’s time to accept that this is probably to do with the choices you’re making.
When I look at my clients’ failed relationships, it often boils down to them putting up with unreasonable behaviour. If you stay with a guy who treats you poorly, then you will be unhappy. When it ends in disaster, your confidence will have taken a massive knock, too.
Before you get into a relationship, ask yourself whether you need to work on your selfconfidence – if you know what you want and refuse to accept any less, you’re bound to meet the guy of your dreams eventually.