Is it time to take a break from your phone?
We’re a nation addicted to our smartphones, but experts warn it’s not good for our mental health. We asked psychotherapist Anna Mathur how we can cut down on constant scrolling…
We’ve all been there: you pick up your phone to reply to a WhatsApp message and, before you know it, 20 minutes has passed.
We’re a nation attached to our phones – quite literally! Statistics show that the average Brit spends three hours and 25 minutes on their phone every day, and seven in ten of us admit we’d feel completely lost without them.
And celebs are struggling, too. Last month, Josie Gibson admitted to being “addicted” to her phone, while Stacey Solomon has made Saturdays her “phone in the drawer’” day so she can spend less time scrolling and more time with her family.
Former Big Brother star Josie, 35 – who found a digital detox helpful – said, “I’m addicted to my phone and pick it up a hundred times a day. Recently, I put it away for two days and I felt amazing. Now
I’m only allowing myself to use it for short periods and I feel calmer.”
But why are we constantly looking at our phones? “The content is so immediate and always changing. All the things you saw ten minutes ago are now completely different, so we’re drawn to it,” says psychotherapist Anna Mathur. “We also get an immediate hit of dopamine [the pleasure hormone] when we get a message, and the immediacy of receiving them is addictive.”
Anna says we often look to our phones to feel better if we’re lonely, bored or stressed.
“Usually when you pick up your phone you’re looking to satisfy a need – perhaps looking for connection, a change of context or a break. But, too often, going on your phone leads to comparison on social media, scrolling, or spending, so you don’t fulfil your need.”
And the constant notifications aren’t good for our mental health, either. “Every time our phone pings, it’s a micro-stressor on our bodies because it’s calling us to action. When you add up all those tiny adrenaline spikes across a whole day, the level of cortisol [the stress hormone] is huge.”
So how can you cut back? Read on for Anna’s tips…
CHANGE YOUR HABITS
“Picking up your phone and clicking on Instagram isn’t a conscious thought any more, so we need to learn to turn a habit into an intentional act. Move your apps on your phone around so that when your thumb intuitively clicks on where the Instagram icon used to be, you get something else. It will make you realise what you were doing. There are settings on iPhones that create alerts when you’ve been on an app for a certain amount of time, and you could also charge your phone overnight in a different room to break the habit of scrolling in bed. Of course, this may not be possible for some people, if you have an elderly or vulnerable relative, for example. Having your phone on loud and nearby may give you some peace of mind.”
SET BOUNDARIES
“It’s much better to separate the time we spend on work, home life, kids and relaxation but, for most of us, they are all mashed together. When you say, ‘I’m just replying to an email’, or, ‘I’m just Googling something’, we are using the word ‘just’ to excuse what we are doing. Ask yourself, ‘Do I need to do this now?’ Write it down on a piece of paper and do it during an allocated time so it has your full attention. Dividing your time and focusing on one task at once is much better.”
ADDRESS EMOTIONAL NEEDS
“When you look at your phone usage, you might feel guilt or shame, but don’t be unkind to yourself. Instead, ask yourself what need you’re trying to fulfil when you look at your phone, and if it’s meeting that need. If you need to pay a bill, then that’s fine, but if you’re looking to satisfy an emotional need, find a way you can do that in a way that is more beneficial. For example, if you’re feeling lonely, meet a friend for a walk; or if you’re feeling stressed, sit outside with a cup of tea rather than scrolling through social media. Look for ways to spend your time that will make you feel better afterwards. Our digital usage is like a muscle – the more you start to exercise meeting your needs in other ways, the less you will be drawn to your phone.”
CLOCK OFF AT 6PM
“When it comes to work, create boundaries for yourself. It’s easy to moan about people emailing you during the evening, but if you’re firing a response back, then it’s not helping the problem. In the old days we’d leave the office at 6pm and we’d mentally clock off, whereas now our emails come through at all hours, and receiving them stops your brain from winding down. Consciously muting your emails and work correspondence on your phone once you’ve finished work could be a good idea, if that’s possible.” ● Mind Over Mother by Anna Mathur (Piatkus, £12.99) is out now. Access Anna’s online therapy courses at Annamathur.com