5 MONSTERS

OF #TRAINWINO YOU’RE BOUND TO MEET

THE SLUMPER

What’s worse: letting them drool on your shoulder or waking them up and actually having to talk to them?

THE SINGER

Not quite the lyrics to Wind Beneath My Wings, but it was impressive when they (almost) hit the high notes.

THE PUKER

Was that burger a good idea? Is that a hiccup, or an ominous warning? Lap, shoes, or on your shoes?!

THE WEEPER

She’s REALLY *hic* upset and doesn’t want to *snivel* talk about it *hic*. What do you mean this was your seat?

THE PHILOSOPHER

Brace yourself, babe, because he’s having a whisky miniature and an existential epiphany. ◆