If you have 7¾ days and ££££ = St James’s Club & Vil­las, An­tigua

What’s that? You want us to switch off our phones, eat lob­ster and bathe in a hot la­goon? Urgh, FINE

Cosmopolitan (UK) - - Read -

CHECK-IN

You’ll ar­rive just in time for cock­tail hour at St James’s beach­side bar. Sun­set’s around 6pm – giv­ing you a chance to do a quick diva change and get out on deck be­fore the sky turns that uniquely Caribbean shade of pink. And if you fall asleep in your jumbo prawns at din­ner, don’t be sur­prised – they’re four hours be­hind us (GMT).

GET BUSY

BUT the time dif­fer­ence means you’ll be up at the crack of dawn – jog­ging on the beach be­fore break­fast (nat­u­rally). This re­sort has not one, but two huge beaches, thanks to its lo­ca­tion on a pri­vate penin­sula. One is a dead calm and boil­ing-hot la­goon on the inside, and the

other is lapped by the waves and breeze of the At­lantic. When you’ve maxed out on sun, all-in­clu­sive meals and sun­down­ers (‘Ink and Drink’ sun­set ses­sions, in­volv­ing col­lec­tive grown-up colour­ing-in and cock­tail guz­zling, are def­i­nitely worth a punt), try your hand at the free wa­ter­sports and packed ros­ter of fit­ness classes. We (sort of) learned to ca­noe, specif­i­cally so we could see whether one-time Bond Ti­mothy Dal­ton was in res­i­dence in his beach house at the mouth of the la­goon – he wasn’t. Tom Hardy (said to be a fan of the re­sort) wasn’t there, either. Prob­a­bly for the best. Re­strain­ing or­ders are pesky things to get rid of. We di­gress. If, like us, you find it hard to gen­uinely switch off on hol­i­day, St James’s of­fer a ‘mind and body’ re­lax­ation pro­gramme. Try sun­rise Float­fit Aquabase classes – es­sen­tially HIIT work­outs per­formed on mats on the wa­ter. Good luck. There’s also mo­bile-free beaches for those done with the hot-dog-or-legs de­ba­cle. Fancy ex­plor­ing? An­tigua’s English Har­bour is a 15-minute drive away and re­plete with colo­nial build­ings at the Nel­son’s Dock­yard World Her­itage site and re­tired ex-pat Hooray Hen­rys. For a dreamy lunch, book a ta­ble at Cather­ine’s, two bays away at Pi­geon Point Beach. In the shade of the neem trees, sip chilled Ch­ablis and eat lob­ster salad with your toes in the sand and de­cide it’s prob­a­bly best you come on hol­i­day more of­ten.

CHECK-OUT

An early-evening flight leaves you plenty of time to snaf­fle one last lunch by the pool, and as you’ll ar­rive the next morn­ing, you could go into the of­fice, de­pend­ing on where in the coun­try you work. Work – re­mem­ber? The place where peo­ple ask you con­stant ques­tions and steal your biro?

Flights and seven nights at St James’s Club & Vil­las, from £1,846; Hayesand­jarvis.co.uk

“Hello, Mum? Yeah, I live here now, OK?”

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