WORST DATES EVER

Fea­tures a man who likens his pe­nis to a ‘Lion Bar’

Cosmopolitan (UK) - - Contents - Got a dat­ing night­mare to share? Email worstdate­sever@cos­mopoli­tan.co.uk

He took me on the Lon­don Eye and, af­ter 10 min­utes, asked if I “fan­cied wank­ing him off”. I didn’t. We then sat in si­lence for 20 min­utes un­til the wheel com­pleted its ro­ta­tion and the pod doors re-opened. ALYSSA, 27

My date proudly told me all about his refuse sack full of porn, and the time he and his mate tried to steal a grave­stone “for a laugh”. SOPHIE, 30

My date told me that be­cause of his many gen­i­tal pierc­ings, his pe­nis now re­sem­bled “a Lion Bar”. HEATHER, 34

HE WHIS­PERED HIS OR­DER TO THE WAIT­RESS SO I WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT HE WAS HAV­ING – SOME­THING TO DO WITH FOOD ENVY, AP­PAR­ENTLY. HE THEN GOT CROSS WITH ME WHEN I COULDN’T FIN­ISH MY PASTA. ROSIE, 40

HE MES­SAGED ME THE DAY BE­FORE OUR DIN­NER SAY­ING, ‘CAN’T GET WITH YOU BY THE WAY, GOT LIKE THREE COLD SORES AT THE MO­MENT LOL.’ SHAN­NON, 23

Our waiter came over hold­ing the restau­rant’s phone. My date’s mum was call­ing to try and catch him out (ap­par­ently she was ob­sessed with know­ing where he was at all times). I awk­wardly ate my bur­rito and avoided eye con­tact as they chat­ted. AMELIA, 21

Dur­ing our sec­ond drink, he asked what I had planned for the rest of the night. I said, “Noth­ing,” as we were on a date. I asked him the same ques­tion – he said, “Meet­ing my pals for a drink, gonna go now ac­tu­ally.” And he did. LUCY, 25

My Ital­ian date said he wanted to “own me”. I think he was try­ing to say he wanted to be my boyfriend, but there was a slight lan­guage bar­rier...

HAN­NAH, 28

He in­ter­rupted me mid-sen­tence to say, in a very se­ri­ous voice, “I want to go down on you while lis­ten­ing to Nick­el­back.”

KATIE, 30

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