Get the 5.01pm Eurostar from London and roll into central Paris at 8.30pm, just in time for a Friday night slap-up. The best place to do that: Parisian institution Brasserie Lipp, where the people-watching is as wonderful as the service is rude (disclaimer: that’s kind of its charm).
Give yourself a lie-in – breakfast at Plaza Athénée is going to require some energy. Start gently with a basket of their award-winning pastries and muffins, then get serious. Once done, head out – you’re on Avenue Montaigne, after all, the most fashionable street in Paris. Yves Saint Laurent, Céline, Louis Vuitton: it’s all here. And if your budget doesn’t stretch that far, hop in a cab to Le Marais. There’s an Azzedine Alaïa secret outlet (18 rue de la Verrerie, 75004) behind a huge wooden door. Ring the bell – don’t be scared, they’re very nice inside. Then walk to Rue des Rosiers for take-out falafel and have a pew in the hidden Jardin Des Rosiers. Take napkins – lots of them. Things can get messy.
There’s a reason Sex
And The City filmed its last episode here – it’s like stepping onto a film set. Everyone is either a) beautiful, or b) faaabulous. Unsure which you are (clearly both)? Fake it by sitting in The Plaza’s bar, sipping a Negroni while Paris twinkles outside. It’s not cheap, but it’s a once-in-alifetime hotel. You’ll get your money’s worth from the number of Instagram posts it will inspire. A warning: we didn’t try the Dior spa, but regretted it after hearing one grande dame say her massage was better than sex.
Drink champagne; find ‘get an Eiffel’ gags hilarious