Are you a na­tive or a new­bie?

‘This small quiz should help clear up how much of a na­tive you re­ally and if you are truly in touch with your Cotswolds side’

Cotswold Life - - NEWS - ADAM ED­WARDS

There has been a lot of hoo-ha over the sum­mer about how the Bri­tish are out of touch with na­ture and of how they are cut off from the coun­try­side. An es­ti­mated 13% of the pop­u­la­tion, for ex­am­ple, said they had not been to the coun­try­side for more than two years. One re­cent poll said that half of us could not iden­tify a spar­row, a quar­ter were not sure if they had ever seen a blue tit and a fifth thought a red kite was a thin sheet of plas­tic flap­ping about at the end of a long bit of string rather than a bird of prey.

Other re­search has sug­gested that many of our chil­dren think that cheese comes from plants, chips come from an­i­mals and fish fin­gers are made with chicken.

Where does this leave the Cotswolds? My guess is that most of the pop­u­la­tion, if they think about our area at all, think of it as a brand name for an out­door range of cloth­ing, a fur­ni­ture out­let or some­where where Liz Hur­ley once lived. How wrong they are. “The Cotswolds are ru­ral rolling hills and grass­land har­bour­ing thatched me­dieval vil­lages and churches built in dis­tinc­tive yel­low lime­stone,” says the tourist blurb. Of course it is much more than that. It is pink­ish in tooth and claw, af­flu­ent and peo­pled by the demi mode. Or to put it another way, it is Sloane Square with grass. And so, as we cel­e­brate the 50th An­niver­sary of Cotswold Life, this small quiz should help clear up how much of a na­tive you re­ally and if you are truly in touch with your Cotswolds side.

1. WHAT IS THE COTSWOLD UNI­FORM?

a) A clas­sic cut tweed jacket b) A Schof­fel gilet c) A ny­lon ther­mal jacket

2. WHAT IS A FARM SHOP?

a) Dayles­ford Or­ganic b) Waitrose c) One’s gar­den

3. WHAT IS A COTSWOLD 4X4 ?

a) A black Range Rover b) An Audi Qu­at­tro c) An Isuzu pick-up

4. WHAT IS A HUNTER?

a) A chap in a red coat

and britches b) A Welling­ton boot c) A horse

5. WHAT’S FOR DIN­NER?

a) Rolled rib of beef b) Veg­e­tar­ian aubergine and feta burgers c) Pheas­ant casse­role

6. AND TO DRINK?

a) Vin­tage wine b) Prosecco c) Cook­ing Gin

7. WHAT ARE YOU DO­ING ON SUN­DAY AT 11.00?

a) Church b) Lis­ten­ing to the

Archers Om­nibus c) On the quad bike.

8. WHAT BREED OF DOG DO YOU OWN?

a) Black Labrador b) Whip­pet/lurcher c) Work­ing Labrador

(bug­ger the colour)

9) WHAT PHO­TO­GRAPHS ARE ON DIS­PLAY?

a) One’s meet­ings with Roy­als b) One’ chil­dren c) One’s horses

10) WHAT CLUB DO YOU BE­LONG TO?

a) White’s b) Soho Farm­house c) The pub

11) HOB­BIES?

a) Huntin’, shootin’ and fishin’ b) Cy­cling, ram­bling

and gar­den­ing c) Shoot­ing

12) WHAT TOTE BAG DO YOU CARRY?

a) What’s a tote bag? b) Daunt book­shop tote bag c) Tesco bag for life.

Mostly As: You are the proper Cotswold man or woman. The Cotswolds is your chi-chi back gar­den. It has all the Lon­don trim­mings with­out the hor­rid bits such as barbed wire, crow­ing cocks and cur­mud­geonly yokels.

Mostly Bs: The Cotswolds is a fan­tasy. It is The Good Life in the 21st cen­tury. It is not only pretty in a happy/hippy sort of way, it is also where one can man­age a fa­cade of or­ganic liv­ing with­out be­ing teased too badly by the ru­ral pop­u­la­tion.

Mostly Cs: You’re a com­plete rus­tic and have no idea about the point of liv­ing in the Cotswolds. As long as the area is green and muddy you’d be a happy bunny any­where.

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