Barking up the wrong tree
QAs a couple of a certain age, my wife and I have all the necessary paperwork in place to deal with our estate once we’re gone. However, she has become obsessed with the notion that the dogs should be ‘provided for’. I refuse to be the man who included animals in his will—how can I assure her that the children won’t send them to Battersea?
D. H., West Sussex A Have you seen Battersea lately? There are cloudcapped towers of river-view penthouses, peacefully abandoned by their Chinese owners, and lamp-posts by Thomas Heatherwick. The grotty old Sainsbury’s has been razed to make way for Partridges, with aisles chock-full of filleted, erm, partridges, for poochy din-dins.
It has impregnable security, with the new American Embassy geared up for nuclear attack, and legions of staff taking shampooed shih-tzus to the park for their thrice-daily lattes (the dogs that is, not the staff). If you can get past the eager gridlock, it’s Xanadu, darling.
As for the dogs’ home—oh my dog! Paul O’grady’s location fees have transformed it into a canine Claridge’s. I would go now, this second, straight to the solicitor and add one small codicil: that your children be sent to Battersea along with the dogs.