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WOULD YOU PAY £2,000 TO potty-train YOUR CHILD?
Their children have lessons on £7 million violins and PAs to arrange their playdates – meet the super-rich who are too posh to do the parenting in a jaw-dropping new show
Watching a new Channel 4 show about the superrich, Too Posh To Parent?, is a bit like entering a surreal parallel universe. The children are pretty much like children everywhere – they fight, they sulk, they giggle and they cry. But the parents? They’re another matter entirely. Of course, the rich have long lived by the maxim that children are best seen and not heard. They’ve been brought up by nannies for centuries and allowed into the presence of their parents for an hour or two only if they behave themselves. In old aristocratic families they would be – and sometimes still are – sent away to boarding school from the age of seven.
But add into the mix the competitiveness of modern parenting, and it’s a wonder today’s super-rich parents ever see their children at all. Tutors charging £1,000 an hour, violin teachers using £7 million instruments, trilingual nannies, personal assistants to arrange playdates, potty- training experts costing £2,000... the ways parents can outsource the job of parenting today is endless. ‘Yes, I’d say I’m too posh to parent,’ says a woman named Lauren in the documentary. She has five children and lives in a stunning 47bedroom stately home in Kent. ‘We have tutors and a nanny, butlers, cooks and cleaners; the best help we can get. I don’t change nappies or do the school run; if I can get someone else to do it, why would I? I like to go to cocktail parties.’ Well, at least she’s honest. In her house most of the parenting is done by a Filipina nanny called Connie, who’s left her own three children back in her homeland while she tries to make enough money for them to enjoy a better life than she had herself.
Many parents in the show believe what they’re doing is for the benefit of their children, to give them the best start in life. We meet a Russian couple, Igor and Natasha, who live in a £45 million London house with their 13-year- old daughter Katya. Determined to turn her into a virtuoso violinist – even though her mother admits Katya isn’t all that talented and actually hates it – they’ve hired the services of renowned violinist and conductor Dmitry Sitkovetsky, who encourages her to learn on a £7 million violin. ‘We want her to work hard so she doesn’t turn into a lazy brat,’ says Natasha.
Katya’s second mother is her English nanny Emma, who’s been with the family all Katya’s life. There was a point where Emma thought about leaving, so Igor bought her a house to convince her to stay. In the show, Natasha says that as Katya’s mother, she’s there to talk about oil prices and things like that with her daughter; for everything else Katya has Emma.
Another Russian family, the Rybakovs, are shown using the services of English ‘super-tutor’ Mark Maclaine, who charges up to £1,000 an hour and is rumoured to have a three-year wait- ing list. He’s seen meeting his new charge Platon, a boy of about eight. His mother Aliia says he’ll one day attend either Oxford or Cambridge and be a scientist. She’d quite like it if he won the Nobel Peace Prize.
Meanwhile fashion designer Nina Naustdal (a favourite of Sinitta) has a PA just to look after the social diaries of her three children and seven Chihuahuas. You can see her problem; there are two tutors in the house every day. Her youngest son also fits in something called Lego Therapy and karate, while the chauffeur, a former boxer, gives all three children boxing lessons. If they didn’t have a PA to organise their diaries, there might be a clash with the trip to the personal shopper, let alone time to dress the dogs in their designer outfits for their walkies (yes, really, and obviously there’s a nanny on poop-scoop duties too!).
‘It’s not about being too posh to parent – it’s the opposite in my opinion,’ says Paola Diana, who runs an agency for nannies, butlers and tutors. ‘They love their children so much and they’re rich enough to pay for the best education for their kids.’
An Italian who set up her own agency when she struggled to find an English nanny for her own two chi ldren (apparently English nannies are still regarded as the best), Paola now finds home help for royals, celebrities and titans of industry. Preferences often come down to the nationalities of the families, she says. ‘Russians and Arabs want bilingual or even trilingual nannies– they like English, French, Russian and Arabic. They prefer nannies over 40 and they like them to work seven days a week and be on call 24 hours; they normally have two or more nannies who share the job. Sometimes each nanny speaks different languages, so you might have one who speaks Italian and English and a second who speaks Russian and French. Often parents want a nanny who’s more than just bilingual; one who’s also a piano or dance teacher, or able to do martial arts.’
Nannies who teach self- defence are particularly in demand – they’re known as ‘ninja nannies’ and they can help the bodyguard and chauffeur protect the children on the school run. Governesses are also back in fashion; they bridge the gap between a nanny and a tutor. ‘You might have a nanny for your toddler then a governess for your eight-year-old,’ says Paola. ‘They can do the child’s homework and prepare them for exams.’
Being employed by the super wealthy can provide a lavish lifestyle and a salary of up to £1,500 a week; there are private planes, luxurious holidays and their own living quarters. A nanny the family is totally happy with can be hard to find. Paola admits it can be a problem placing her more attractive girls because the mother doesn’t want a young thing turning her husband’s head, and she always warns her young employees to dress modestly and ‘not show off their beauty’.
There’s money to be found in the most unusual places when it comes to catering to the super-rich. Potty expert – yes, really – Amanda Jenner charges £2,000 to help the rich toilet-train their little ones. It’s made her wealthy herself. ‘Most people I know think it’s mad to have a potty expert,’ she admits. But she has a waiting list of a year.
For Paola, it’s all quite simple. ‘It’s not about the quantity of time you spend with your children but the quality,’ she insists. ‘And it’s natural to want the best for your children.’ Too Posh To Parent? will air next month on Channel 4.
‘I don’t do the school run – I like to go to cocktail parties’