OF COURSE

Pippa Middleton’s hen-night was a model of discreet luxury. Private jet to Meribel, digs in a posh chalet and lashings of tip top skiing.

Plus goody-bags crammed with Swatch watches, Ugg boots and personalised fragrances for her guests, who included sister Kate. It’s most unlikely that a single penis-shaped balloon made it behind the pine-clad walls of her five-star festivities.

Speaking of which, how long do you reckon Pippa’s honeymoon is going to last? A month? All summer? I reckon she will be back at her imaginary desk, doing her fantasy non-job by September. Or the twelfth of never. At the earliest.