Scarred for YEARS by parents’ divorce

AS A doctor, I am sick and tired of seeing children who are taking the brunt of the emotional fallout of failed marriages, messy divorces and warring parents.

Over the past ten years that I’ve worked in A&E covering mental health, and in child psychiatry, I’ve seen the results of this countless times: children and teenagers left with emotional and behavioural problems, and unexplained physical illnesses that are really manifestations of emotional distress, such as self harm and eating disorders.

And this is just the very worst cases. Any teacher will tell you of the low level, insidious damage that never makes it to the doctor’s waiting room.

This week, I was particularly interested to read of a study that showed children who’d experienced a bitter divorce were three times more likely to develop colds as adults.

This demonstrates two things. Firstly, that the effect of childhood trauma endures well past childhood — I see this time and again with people in their 20s, 30s and even 40s still battling the demons of their parents’ divorces, sometimes long after the parents themselves have died.

The study also shows how psychological pain and mental anguish can influence physical health: the mind and body are not two separate, distinct things.

I hope that parents will remember all this if they decide to divorce.